What is the most crappy scifi ever?

[Star Voyager]

True, but I think that the crappiest sci-fi is "Deep Impact".

 

[RisingFury]

Well, I think 2012 set a new standard for crappyness. Saw it cos I expected some funky effects, but even those were poorly done.................

 

[Brycesv1]

it still havent seen it but i want to. just so i can see how they make stupid amounts of water appear on the planet

 

[vonneuman]

I don't know about worst,the new Battlestar Galactica was just plain bad.
One of the best sci fi shows ever has to be Stargate SG1. Well done. It did not insult your intelligence, and it was realistic. The writing was really good too, the way they can go from funny to serious is was well done.

This is a really good episode. If you get a chance I recommend it. The best time-loop story after Ground hog day. "Window of Opportunity"

 

[Andy44]

I don't know about worst,the new Battlestar Galactica was just plain bad.

What?! That was great TV, always kept me glued. Sure the science wasn't too hot, but it was no worse than Star Trek and certainly better than BSG 1978.

 

[dbeachy1]

Well my vote goes to Armageddon, and I'll explain.
...snip...

+100 to that. In addition to all the points you mentioned, I remember some other gems:

* An old single-engine-plane cropduster pilot who hasn't flown a plane in 30 years jumps into an F-18, takes off, and promptly shoots down some alien fighters. Apparently the F-18's controls are so intuitive and fly so similarly to single-engine prop planes that any old idiot can jump into one and do barrel rolls while shooting down an alien menace.

* One of the protagonists manages to 1) wirelessly connect his Macintosh laptop to the alien computer on the mothership, and 2) write, compile, upload, and execute a "virus" that disables the entire ship. All in the space of about 15 minutes. [Apparently aliens use TCP/IP, Power PC CPUs, and OS 9. And they have no firewalls. Plus everyone knows it's easy to reverse-engineer a completely foreign computer system in about 10 minutes.] That scene alone is enough to make Armageddon the single worst Sci-Fi movie of all time. It makes me want to yell each time I think about it. Now I need a beer...

There are many, many other ludicrous scenes that I mercifully seemed to have blocked out from my memory in the interests of preserving my sanity.

Frankly, it disturbs me that Armageddon was marketed as a serious movie rather than a comedy in the genre of Spaceballs and Airplane. It angers the Probe.

 

[Brycesv1]

or how a small aircraft can fly into the working end of a very large superweapon and destroy it, even though that weapon is engineered to withstand godly amounts of heat and probably kinetic energy.

EDIT: and not just the weapon. it destroyed the entire ship.

 

[vonneuman]

What?! That was great TV, always kept me glued. Sure the science wasn't too hot, but it was no worse than Star Trek and certainly better than BSG 1978.

Star Trek was way better than BG

 

[Andy44]

+100 to that.

You've got the wrong crappy movie: you're describing Independance Day, not Armageddon.

But since you mentioned it, yeah, ID4 sucked bug time, too. And for the same reasons: bad science, bad movie-making, and silly appeals to populist movie-goers.

 

[dbeachy1]

Actually, I love the first three seasons of the new BSG -- it's one of my favorite shows. The fourth season was a let-down, but overall I still like BSG more than all the Star Trek series except Deep Space Nine. DS9 was interesting stuff.

You've got the wrong crappy movie: you're describing Independance Day, not Armageddon.

But since you mentioned it, yeah, ID4 sucked bug time, too. And for the same reasons: bad science, bad movie-making, and silly appeals to populist movie-goers.

Argh, good catch. In that case I'd like to change my vote to Independence Day.

 

[Pilot7893]

If I may, I'd like to cast a vote for Asteroid.
Not only was it an ungodly abomination and a dissapointment of Mankind, but it had the same name as the pathetic Orbiter film I never made, so COPYRIGHT!!!11!11

 

[Hielor]

armageddon IS the worst sifi movie. zenon, girl of the 21st century also takes the cake. because now everyone knows that in a rotating wheel station the gravity is exactly the same as earth and that ejecting half of the station doesnt disrupt anything whatsoever.

it also showed that nobody would notice a deteriorating orbit until 2 weeks before reentry and whoever the captain was, was an idiot that though jettisoning half the station would be a good way to save it

The first Zenon wasn't too bad. Sure they took some liberties with science, but far from some other movies.

The second was pushing it.

The third was terrible. Terrible. They should've stopped after the first.

 

[vonneuman]

I know. Did they expect us to believe that you can fly to the moon in a couple of minutes?

 

[Andy44]

If I may, I'd like to cast a vote for Asteroid.

Looking it up on imdb I see it starred Michael Biehn, aka Cpl. Hicks from Aliens aka Kyle Reese from Terminator aka Johnny Ringo from Tombstone.

It's a shame to see such a great actor doing such a lousy movie.

A look at his imdb page shows that he was a Sandman in the 1977 film Logan's Run, too! Now there was a good sci fi flick.

And what do you know, he was also in another cheesy killer asteroid movie: Fire in the Sky (1978).

At first I thought you were talking about this earlier killer asteroid flick, starring Natalie Wood: Meteor

That was bad, too, but at least it was better than Armageddon. RIP, Natalie Wood. (Whose last movie, BTW, was a nifty sci fi flick with Christpher Walken called Brainstorm (1983))

 

[Ghostrider]

I think the worst thing about Armageddon was not the bad science (you don't go to a Michael Bay movie for science) or even the bad acting, but the waste of good actors. Over the years, Bruce Willis has proved to be a really good actor. Same with Billy Bob Thornton, and he and Willis have a great on-screen chemistry (see Bandits). Even Ben Affleck can turn out some good performances (Chasing Amy) although they've typecasted him into mostly handsome-hero movies. He needs to go the Matt Damon path.
Let's not even mention Steve Buscemi and Michael Clarke Duncan. However there's an old Hollywood rule that a disaster movie should have a star cast.

 

[Urwumpe]

NASA had a better appearance in "Space Cowboys", which had almost half as large plot holes as Armageddon, but at least had the spaceflight part well done. OK, landing the Space Shuttle without the computers is a rather big plot hole, but well, it was fun to watch. It was a good old action scene and not this weak Michael Bay stuff that needs explosions for hiding the bad timing.

You could of course mention "Dune", but "Dune" was no sci-fi movie, it was more a fantasy movie.

 

[dougkeenan]

A look at his imdb page shows that he was a Sandman in the 1977 film Logan's Run, too! Now there was a good sci fi flick.

I think he was in the pilot for the TV series, not the film version. He was great in The Abyss also.

That was bad, too, but at least it was better than Armageddon. RIP, Natalie Wood. (Whose last movie, BTW, was a nifty sci fi flick with Christpher Walken called Brainstorm (1983))

Right, if one can get over ultra-high bandwidth signals being pumped over telephone lines.

 

[Linguofreak]

+100 to that. In addition to all the points you mentioned, I remember some other gems:

* An old single-engine-plane cropduster pilot who hasn't flown a plane in 30 years jumps into an F-18, takes off, and promptly shoots down some alien fighters. Apparently the F-18's controls are so intuitive and fly so similarly to single-engine prop planes that any old idiot can jump into one and do barrel rolls while shooting down an alien menace.

I do seem to recall that said pilot was ex-military. He'd probably still be too rusty, but I'd think he'd be at least somewhat more at home in the fighters shown in the movie than you imply. (I thought they were F-15's, but it's probably been around 10 years (almost half my lifetime) since I watched that movie). (On a second check, they were indeed flying 18's).

* One of the protagonists manages to 1) wirelessly connect his Macintosh laptop to the alien computer on the mothership, and 2) write, compile, upload, and execute a "virus" that disables the entire ship. All in the space of about 15 minutes. [Apparently aliens use TCP/IP, Power PC CPUs, and OS 9. And they have no firewalls. Plus everyone knows it's easy to reverse-engineer a completely foreign computer system in about 10 minutes.] That scene alone is enough to make Armageddon the single worst Sci-Fi movie of all time. It makes me want to yell each time I think about it. Now I need a beer...

Once again, it's bad, but my recollection of the movie makes it not quite so bad. He did have access to a captured alien fighter to play around with before he went on his hacking mission, and had tested the virus on that fighter. I also seem to recall that the people at area 51 had had that fighter for a while, so they may have had time to reverse engineer the computers (so that he only had to write the virus).

And of course, the aliens are not using PowerPC or OS 9, and they do use a firewall. They wouldn't be that evil if they weren't in cahoots with Microsoft : They use Intel, Win 95, and Windows firewall.

I have, however heard some other things that make it just as cheesy: Slowing down that giant mothership, for instance, would have fried Earth in the first place, no invasion necessary.

 

[Andy44]

Actually, the thing that creeped me out about Brainstorm was the thought of Chris Walken playing back my thoughts inside his head. Weeeeeiiiiiiiird.

 

[Blacklight]

A topic I LOVE because I LOVE bad movies. I have a few to nominate. The first and WORST would have to be "War of the Robots" (Sometimes titled "REACTOR"). It redefines "Bad". It's painful to watch, even for a person like me who LOVES bad movies. It's the "Manos: The Hands Of Fate" of sci-fi.

My next nominee is Starcrash. This one is HORRIBLY bad, but is FANTASTIC FUN to watch ! First off, it stars a young David Hasselhoff !!! And he gets to fight stop motion animated robots with a lightsabler !!! And there's this robot with a voice like a southern sheriff "YEEE HAW !!!" (I am NOT making this up !). Then, there's the most awesome attack scene I have ever seen in a sci fi movie ! The good guys ships are attacking the bad buy's starship. They fire "Space Torpedoes" at the bad guy's ship. The "Space Torpedoes" smash through the bad guys ship's PICTURE WINDOWS and it get's better. The Space torpedoes land on the floor, open up, and guys jump out of them and start shooting their fake lazer guns everywhere !!! I had a tear in my eye because I had never seen a scene more beautiful !!!
Here's a review/synopsis and also check the video clip at the bottom. The reviewer put up the "Space Torpedo" scene !!!
http://www.badmovies.org/movies/starcrash/