Humor Random Comments Thread

[Artlav]

No.

Hm, makes me wonder what would be the German equivalent of this pole impact aftermath timelapse:

 

[Andy44]

Hm, makes me wonder what would be the German equivalent of this pole impact aftermath timelapse:
At the very root. KamAZ hit the post - YouTube

That was way more entertaining to watch than I thought it'd be.

 

[birdmanmike]

What, like how many (insert nationality of choice here)s does it take to change a light bulb?

 

[Urwumpe]

What, like how many (insert nationality of choice here)s does it take to change a light bulb?

Germans: 99 specialists

One to do a feasibility study about the exchange of light bulbs during operation.
One to rescue the first and do CPR.
One to do a feasibility study about the exchange of light bulbs after turning power off.
One to do an alternative study about the benefits of darkness.
One to reply on Greenpeace questions about the power consumption of the light bulb.
One to do a cost-use-analysis of different lightbulb types.
One to create a European-wide request for bids according to the law.
One to order different samples of light-bulbs.
Nineteen QA engineers testing the samples.
One to design a new special counter-rotating ladder for lightbulb exchanges.
One to train a group of light-bulb-exchange specialists for the use of counter-rotating ladders
One to climb the ladder in a valiant endeavour to go where no German engineer has ever gone before.
One to point out that the socket is a E27 and not a E14.
One to quickly create a E27 to E14 adapter from a paperclip and chewing gum wrap
One to turn power back on because it is too dark to see anything......

 

[Notebook]

Is this a pre or post brexit bulb?

N.

 

[Urwumpe]

Is this a pre or post brexit bulb?

N.

You can test it. If it is less bright now than it was before the referendum, its a pro-brexit bulb.

 

[MaverickSawyer]

Being angry with AT&T is called being an AT&T customer. Just the way it is.

I mean seriously, look at their corporate logo. Then look at the Death Star. Coincidence? I think not.

I prefer AT&T to Comcast, simply because they're not Comcast.

---------- Post added at 08:44 ---------- Previous post was at 08:42 ----------

I am angry at the construction workers, who needed to make a full kilometer of the bypass to Gifhorn a single lane road with traffic lights letting only two cars pass for each direction.... and that for having three small trucks stand on the side of the road and a dozen workers, of which 4 had been doing the work and 8 had been standing around or helped moving the trucks a few meters further down....

Oh, they went to the CalTrans School of Infrastructure Project Management. :rofl:

 

[mojoey]

Oh, they went to the CalTrans School of Infrastructure Project Management. :rofl:

This triggers me on so many ing levels, yo. Thou shalt not venture down the I-15/I-215 interchange. For right is left, and left is right.

 

[n122vu]

Anybody have plans for Gatlinburg this holiday? Due to the wildfires there might not even be a Gatlinburg. A big section of Pigeon Forge is being evacuated tonight too. We finally got some much needed rain, but I'm not sure how much it'll save.

Two of the girls the kiddo danced with have jobs at different venues in Pigeon Forge. One is at the Smokey Mountain Opry, the other at the Hatfields and McCoy's. Both of them have reported that they are safe.

The Park Vista hotel in G-burg is a pile of ashes. If anyone has visite Gatlinburg, that's the hotel up on the hill from Ripley's museum and the needle.

Looks like the Aquarium of the Smokies is surrounded. The staff was rounded up in a mandatory evacuation earlier this morning.

I'd planned to fly down in September but it didn't work out. I was saddened to hear this, and have felt that way all day. Regardless of how our marriage ended, my ex-wife and I had several good trips there. Lots of memories, and that area has always had a special place in my heart since childhood.

According to the Ripley's site, local law enforcement allowed and escorted an emergency team of marine biologists and life support specialists back into the aquarium, and at this point all the animals are safe and being cared for.

I'd post the link, but since they tweeted that, the site has been inundated with traffic and takes 5 min + to load.

EDIT: Seems to be working better now.

 

[RisingFury]

Anybody have plans for Gatlinburg this holiday? Due to the wildfires there might not even be a Gatlinburg. A big section of Pigeon Forge is being evacuated tonight too. We finally got some much needed rain, but I'm not sure how much it'll save.

Two of the girls the kiddo danced with have jobs at different venues in Pigeon Forge. One is at the Smokey Mountain Opry, the other at the Hatfields and McCoy's. Both of them have reported that they are safe.

The Park Vista hotel in G-burg is a pile of ashes. If anyone has visite Gatlinburg, that's the hotel up on the hill from Ripley's museum and the needle.

Looks like the Aquarium of the Smokies is surrounded. The staff was rounded up in a mandatory evacuation earlier this morning.

Any word on the cause yet? It seems a bit late and cold for this to be self-ignited...

 

[Andy44]

Germans: 99 specialists

One to do a feasibility study about the exchange of light bulbs during operation.
One to rescue the first and do CPR.
One to do a feasibility study about the exchange of light bulbs after turning power off.
One to do an alternative study about the benefits of darkness.
One to reply on Greenpeace questions about the power consumption of the light bulb.
One to do a cost-use-analysis of different lightbulb types.
One to create a European-wide request for bids according to the law.
One to order different samples of light-bulbs.
Nineteen QA engineers testing the samples.
One to design a new special counter-rotating ladder for lightbulb exchanges.
One to train a group of light-bulb-exchange specialists for the use of counter-rotating ladders
One to climb the ladder in a valiant endeavour to go where no German engineer has ever gone before.
One to point out that the socket is a E27 and not a E14.
One to quickly create a E27 to E14 adapter from a paperclip and chewing gum wrap
One to turn power back on because it is too dark to see anything......

I always heard it this way:

---------- Post added at 06:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:37 PM ----------

I prefer AT&T to Comcast, simply because they're not Comcast.

Big fat +1 to that.

I had to deal with Comcast after the death of a relative when I had to cancel the account of the deceased. The mother on the other end of that phone connection gave me a huge runaround and a giant ration of extra grief to go on top of the grief I was already experiencing. I have rarely felt so prone to violence as I was in that moment.

 

[Urwumpe]

I always heard it this way:

So my version wasn't exactly funny, yes? :facepalm:

 

[PhantomCruiser]

OK, my report on the Park Vista hotel was misinformed. It's still standing, but the surrounding area is a smoking waste. There is some youtube video of some guests and staff from inside the hotel when it was surrounded by flames, cars in the parking lot were on fire and there was no way down from the hill. The picture here is from the parking lot of the Sydney James where I've stayed many time, the Park Vista is on the other side of that wall of flame.

It seems that "strip" has been more or less spared, but then there is a lot of concrete, asphalt and steel between it and the fire. The Aquarium was untouched, but it was pretty close. The staff are back to care for the animals that they were forced to leave behind.

 

[Linguofreak]

I always heard it this way:

I have generally found that the "Germans have no sense of humor" stereotype conflicts with the "Germans drink lots of beer" stereotype. I have heard mildly inebriated Germans suggest that the best way to deal with the cosmological constant problem is to do the math in base 10^120. If you do that, the difference between the quantum mechanical prediction and observations becomes a matter of rounding error.

Speaking of stereotypes and German humor:

 

[Andy44]

 

[Urwumpe]

Well, lets put it like that: Its hard to be German. :dry:

 

[jedidia]

Well, lets put it like that: Its hard to be German. :dry:

Sascha der ist Deutscher, und deutsch sein das ist schwer... :lol:

 

[Artlav]

What, like how many (insert nationality of choice here)s does it take to change a light bulb?

More like "how many (insert nationality of choice here)s does it take to change a light pole?", which is somewhat less of a joke and more of a real benchmark.

 

[Urwumpe]

More like "how many (insert nationality of choice here)s does it take to change a light pole?", which is somewhat less of a joke and more of a real benchmark.

Since my brother still has some small dispute with the town about moving the light pole in the approach to his new house, because the road blueprints had no light pole in this place and the architect planned the house that way (While the road was constructed).... not our strongest side, I would say.

 

[Fabri91]

Eh, in Germany jokes are no laughing matter. :hide: