Ahoy, francisdrake!
First, many thanks for conjuring, and sharing, your VulcanCentaur project. I have been having fun, testing various payloads for traffic into orbit. I must confess that my approach has been pretty simple and strictly empirical - rather than exhaustive and systematic. Essentially, I have been asking, "Can I stick this on top of francisdrake's VC and get it into orbit?" Nevertheless, I will try to answer your questions.
1) For the most part I have been flying the launcher manually. I use the 'V' command to start the engines and get off the pad, but take over after SRB separation. I have mostly employed the 6 SRB configuration, and I found that if I just use 'V' and sit back and watch, the launcher never recovers from the ascent pitch-over and instead reenters the atmosphere.
2) Here is a (partial) list of payload masses:
Kulch's (Yuri Kulchitsky's) DM-2 space tug (from the user manual):
dry mass = 3.0 mT
main fuel mass = 15.0 mT
RCS fuel mass = 1.5 mT
full starting mass = 19.5 mT
Kulch's Smerch space tug (from the user manual):
dry mass = 6.0 mT
main fuel mass = 70.0 mT
RCS fuel mass = 1.5 mT
full starting mass = 77.5 mT
Kulch's Deep Star space probe (from the user manual):
ion drive fuel mass = 2.0 mT
RCS fuel mass = 0.3 mT
total mass = 4.8 mT
Molniya-1 (from Wikipedia):
launch mass = 1.6 mT
Thomas Ruth's Hermes space plane (from the hermes3.ini file):
Mass = 21000
3) With practice (and multiple failures under my belt) I now find it fairly easy to achieve orbit (I admit that often my orbits are not so 'pretty' in that they lack geometric precision). Then again, I have mainly been using the 6 SRB variant and so have the advantage there. I have used the VC4S variant with the DM-2 space tug, and that works fine.
Anyway, I hope some of this might be useful information/feedback. Don't hesitate to ask for clarification. I look forward to any/all updates, as well as future projects from you.
Peace,
cs
