Humor Random Comments Thread

[Longjap]

Can not leave a spider thread without posting this.

 

[mbartley]

It's a spiderbro! Leave it be, and it'll help keep the bug population in the house down.

That reminds me of a previous apartment I lived in many years ago. Get rid of the spiders, and the ants showed up. It was one or the other.

I remember someone told me that the entire area used to be a giant anthill, and that the unusual mascot of the nearby University of California, Irvine - the anteater - is not random.

 

[APDAF]

which looks like a cross between a large mosquito and a spider...

Crane flies... AKA Daddy long legs in the UK


Proof that there is no loving god

And don't get me started on harvestmen...

 

[RisingFury]

Since we're talking about spiders...

 

[Andy44]

Speaking of bugs, I found ants in my kitchen about a week ago. Normally I just set out an ant trap where they will find it and then watch the line of ants bring the poison back to the nest. 2-3 days later, ants all dead and gone.

But these weren't the usual sweets-eating tiny ants; these are bigger black ants, which I found out are carpenter ants. They don't always go for sweet food, which is why they ignored the traps I set out. That's bad news; carpenter ants can damage your house. I was seeing them in ones and twos, and 4s and 5s.

I searched far and wide to find ant bait that works on them. Solid foods, granulated foods you blow into the cracks in the molding, and liquid food traps. I tore my kitchen apart and scrubbed it cleaner than it's ever been.

For a few days nothing seemed to work. Then, last night, I came home from work and found to my delight a dozen or so ants chowing down on the liquid traps, grabbing the syrupy poison and taking it back under the dishwasher to wherever their nest is.

Today they are still there, but they aren't looking too healthy. With any luck the whole colony is on its way to extinction. :yes:

I admit I have a cruel streak when it comes to little crapheads invading my house and watching them destroy themselves gives me satisfaction.

 

[MaverickSawyer]

Speaking of bugs, I found ants in my kitchen about a week ago. Normally I just set out an ant trap where they will find it and then watch the line of ants bring the poison back to the nest. 2-3 days later, ants all dead and gone.

But these weren't the usual sweets-eating tiny ants; these are bigger black ants, which I found out are carpenter ants. They don't always go for sweet food, which is why they ignored the traps I set out. That's bad news; carpenter ants can damage your house. I was seeing them in ones and twos, and 4s and 5s.

I searched far and wide to find ant bait that works on them. Solid foods, granulated foods you blow into the cracks in the molding, and liquid food traps. I tore my kitchen apart and scrubbed it cleaner than it's ever been.

For a few days nothing seemed to work. Then, last night, I came home from work and found to my delight a dozen or so ants chowing down on the liquid traps, grabbing the syrupy poison and taking it back under the dishwasher to wherever their nest is.

Today they are still there, but they aren't looking too healthy. With any luck the whole colony is on its way to extinction. :yes:

I admit I have a cruel streak when it comes to little crapheads invading my house and watching them destroy themselves gives me satisfaction.

Pro tip: If you can find their entry point into your house, sprinkle a solid line of diatomaceous earth across the pathway. The ants will not cross it for long, as it cuts up their exoskeletons and causes them to die the death of a thousand cuts. :stirpot:

 

[jedidia]

The ants will not cross it for long, as it cuts up their exoskeletons and causes them to die the death of a thousand cuts.

Interesting. I just found a piece of lore in no man's sky about half an hour ago that mentions an entire planet doing exactly that to you... :lol:

 

[Thunder Chicken]

I have an old cottage and we have a lively spider population of all sorts. We have a lot of big orb weavers outside and a variety of house and garden spiders indoors. I appreciate the role they play in keeping pest insects under control, and their general harmlessness.

But last night I shut off all the house lights and was walking through my front room to go to bed and felt a vertical string of silk hit my face and something below it the size of a large marble thumped against my chest.

I might have lost my cool for a moment or two. I switched on the room lights, looked all over, tore off my shirt and shorts and ran to look myself all over in the mirror, combing my hair somewhat manically.

I never found it, whatever it was. Imagination is definitely worse than reality in most cases. I think some spiders know this.

Spiders are our friends...spiders are our friends....

 

[Quick_Nick]

I do not like spiders. And I mean even the smallest spiders you've ever seen. I do not like them. And just the other day, there was a tarantula hanging out by my apartment. :shifty:

 

[mojoey]

Considering you're in Tuscon, that's probably your new roommate. You should get to know him, most people in Tuscon are pretty chill. Maybe he wants to be a web developer or something.

 

[PhantomCruiser]

Whatever you do, do NOT go outside at night. Also while not outside, do NOT take a flashlight with you. Then while not outside and not using the flashlight; do NOT look parallel to the beam into the grass. Do NOT then notice the small green reflections moving around.
Something to definitely avoid is a close inspection what those reflections are.

I read somewhere that unless you are suspended in mid air inside a clean room, it's doubtfull you are more than 6 feet away from a spider.

I think if they were as big as dogs, humanity would probably be extinct.

 

[mojoey]

Or we'd have evolved larger lung capacities from all the screaming and running we'd do.

 

[steph]

I can't remember anywhere I lived that didn't have at least a few bugs, at least just for ....looks . I'm usually not bothered by ants, though they seem to be ubiquitous. As long as they don't climb on my food, it's ok
There was a dorm I lived in where the folks at the lower floors noticed tiny bugs (and bug eggs) coming out of the faucets in their rooms (the kitchen water seemed unaffected). This surfaced after I'd been happily drinking from the same water supply for a few weeks. Somebody complained on the campus message board about it, then someone else posted a pic of a facehugger swearing that he'd seen it in the hallway, and a few people believed it and lost their s$%t over it :lol: (it became sort of an insider joke, whenever something went missing from the kitchens, the facehuggers must have stolen it :lol: )
Living at a higher floor doesn't spare you completely. Living at floor 6, we had a remarkable number of those big mosquitoes flying in from the outsides. And something that resembled crickets that apparently managed to climb the walls, I guess.

 

[MaverickSawyer]

I can't remember anywhere I lived that didn't have at least a few bugs, at least just for ....looks . I'm usually not bothered by ants, though they seem to be ubiquitous. As long as they don't climb on my food, it's ok
There was a dorm I lived in where the folks at the lower floors noticed tiny bugs (and bug eggs) coming out of the faucets in their rooms (the kitchen water seemed unaffected). This surfaced after I'd been happily drinking from the same water supply for a few weeks. Somebody complained on the campus message board about it, then someone else posted a pic of a facehugger swearing that
he'd seen it in the hallway, and a few people believed it and lost their s$%t over it :lol: (it became sort of an insider joke, whenever something went missing from the kitchens, the facehuggers must have stolen it :lol: )
Living at a higher floor doesn't spare you completely. Living at floor 6, we had a remarkable number of those big mosquitoes flying in from the outsides. And something that resembled crickets that apparently managed to climb the walls, I guess.

The big mosquitos?
This thing?
KILL THEM. Their larval stage eats your lawn.
Or, put up a bird box for insectivorous birds like swallows, martins, etc. They love to catch those and feed 'em to their young.

 

[Urwumpe]

Or we'd have evolved larger lung capacities from all the screaming and running we'd do.

Or some of us mutated to be immune against spider toxin and started to eat spider steak.

 

[Ravenous]

But last night I shut off all the house lights and was walking through my front room to go to bed and felt a vertical string of silk hit my face and something below it the size of a large marble thumped against my chest.

Off topic but that reminds me of when I used to process my own film.

I didn't have a darkroom (still lived with the folks) so for each session I'd black out my entire bedroom with a huge black plastic sheet that went over and around the windows, little cardboard shields I stuck around the door, very little ventilation, etc.

One night I finished late and was too tired to dismantle all the blinds so I just switched off the lights and went to bed.

SO: I awoke at some point in the middle of the night, standing somewhere in the middle of the room, in complete blackness, not knowing where I was or how I got there, with something very lightly brushing against my head... (the obstacle above my head was just a cupboard door left open, at the top of the wardrobe.)

Harmless but very disorientating. I never did that again!

 

[jedidia]

The problem with code editors with an integrated console is that sooner or later you open Nano in it to edit a file :facepalm:

 

[n122vu]

Well, that's the first time I've ever had to quick-scroll past an entire page of this thread.

My take on spiders: Kill them all. Kill them all with fire.

Then nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

 

[Linguofreak]

Kill them all with fire.

Just as long as they're not sitting on your gas tank fill pipe while you're filling up. A guy tried "kill it with fire" in that situation with results that ended up on YouTube.

 

[Urwumpe]

Kill them all with fire.

The last time I did this, I had to explain the scorched dead flies on the floor AND on the ceiling and the intense smell of unburnt alcohol.

We had about one dozen annoying flies in our office at the maintenance and went slightly mad. So I took my Zippo... :focus:

(Seriously dear children: Don't try this at home. Watch a Rammstein show instead for examples of the following events.)