Humor Random Comments Thread

[steph]

Here's a weird one. When I plug the headphones into my phone, it starts playing the music via speaker, only at a very low volume. Tried with multiple pairs of headphones (which work fine on other devices) and got the same result. And it recognizes the headphones, because it pauses the music when I remove them.

 

[C3PO]

Is it a Nokia?

 

[steph]

Nope, Samsung GT - I5500. I've had it for 4 years. Quite a sturdy old beast, really. I've used it mostly as a backup phone until my main one died. Had it doing timelapse videos most of the time. It went through a lot...including getting forgotten outside in the rain, cold etc etc, being dropped numerous times and getting taped to an RC plane, and apart from the headphone problem, it works fine.
My main one was a newer Galaxy Young model which, surprisingly, in not even 2 years of "normal" use, is basically falling apart, aspect and button-wise. It eventually developed a glitch in which it would spontaneously restart. I'm thinking it might be a problem with the start button, since it also likes to start on its own when I insert the battery and, while functioning, the start button (which also controls airplane mode etc) ocasionally doesn't respond. Did a factory reset, but to no use..

---------- Post added at 03:52 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:45 PM ----------

So they confiscated my Nutella at the airport. Apparently it was a liquid and in a handbag so it was a no-go. Seriously though, what were they afraid of? That the calories would suddenly explode out of the jar? It was even sealed and untouched, for probe's sake. And why is it a liquid if it doesn't even budge when you turn it upside down? Hell, even plastic is a liquid if you heat it long enough.

Maybe there were on to something :lol: http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-31594956

Apparently, a Nutella jar set a house ablaze :tiphat: I mean, I knew it was a nice fuel to "burn" during my runs, but...setting off a fire? Just read now that an empy jar did the trick though. Can you imagine the damage it could have done if it were full? :lol:

 

[ISProgram]

Believe it or not, daddy longlegs and this thing are in the same group, collectively known as harvestmen. None are venomous, despite the myths about daddy longlegs being extremely venomous but unable to pierce human skin.

Ah, man, you almost made me say something...

 

[SolarLiner]

Some users wondered why certain add-on, has been uploaded in the future:



A serious* research in the MS Research Facility, by a group of scientists# from Aperture Science, directed by Giorgio Tsoukalos, yielded the following results.

The time travel is possible, the Chronology Protection Conjecture is void.

Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking said it was impossible to travel in time, because today we are still not visited by tourists from the future.
But now Orbiter Hangar shows that someone has already built in the future a time machine, has released an add-on, and Orbiter Hangar servers have access to the future.
Also the name of user who posted this add-on is "flug" name that is very similar to flux = flux capacitor.

Irrefutable evidence, the time travel is possible.


*Lie.
#Scientists were drunk and were not scientists, were the cleaning staff of MS Research Facility, place that does not exist.

Please tell me Wheatley wasn't in the Aperture Science research group, or I don't check this research as serious. :lol:

 

[Matias Saibene]

*grabs flamethrower* KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!

Right now I order my MS Laboratories engineers to invent a solution to exterminate all the class Arachnida. For anything that can go wrong, I'll put this poster:

Time to set Argentina on fire then.

Do not worry, this country is self-flammable, it burns itself.

So they confiscated my Nutella at the airport. Seriously though, what were they afraid of?

Brief explanation.

Nutella is the only hard drug that I can't stop consuming.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please tell me Wheatley wasn't in the Aperture Science research group, or I don't check this research as serious. :lol:

We discarded all robots in the facility: Wheatley, GLaDOS, AUTO, HAL9000. Whenever a (artificial or not) intelligence is created, disasters occur on Earth.
For example, humans appear = pollute and destroy the Earth.
Appear artificial intelligences = destroy the earth and humans.

Plantae rulez.

 

[mojoey]

Do not worry, this country is self-flammable, it burns itself.

I know a few people who can help out with that.

 

[ISProgram]

Believe it or not, daddy longlegs and this thing are in the same group, collectively known as harvestmen. None are venomous, despite the myths about daddy longlegs being extremely venomous but unable to pierce human skin.

Ah, man, you almost made me say something...

I'm going to say it. [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae"]WRONG ARACHNID[/ame]. :lol:

---------- Post added at 08:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 PM ----------

I know a few people who can help out with that.

Politicians?

 

[Bibi Uncle]

#Scientists were drunk and were not scientists, were the cleaning staff of MS Research Facility, place that does not exist.

In fact, Microsoft Research does exist. It's here : http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/

 

[MattBaker]

I know a few people who can help out with that.

Only problem is that some things are so dense that they're practically un-ignitable.

 

[Matias Saibene]

Politicians?

Probes.

In fact, Microsoft Research does exist. It's here : http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/

I was not referring to Microsoft Research (makers of the wonderful World Wide Telescope, among others). When I mention "MS", I mean a fictional company, stereotype of semi-corrupt, dysfunctional company, and very little serious, which makes "scientific studies", and owns many subsidiaries. It is similar to BuyNLarge (used in the movie Wall-E to demonstrate the irresponsibility with care for the environment).

For example, the MS Mathematical Center, proposed this solution (a parody of statements of Dimitri Rogozin):

MS Enterprises, Inc. manufacturing products... that do not work.

In addition I am writing a science fiction story in which MS Enterprises is the opposite to the above, but also with a touch of humor:uhh:.

 

[SolarLiner]

Right now I order my MS Laboratories engineers to invent a solution to exterminate all the class Arachnida. For anything that can go wrong, I'll put this poster:

Do not worry, this country is self-flammable, it burns itself.


Brief explanation.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


We discarded all robots in the facility: Wheatley, GLaDOS, AUTO, HAL9000. Whenever a (artificial or not) intelligence is created, disasters occur on Earth.
For example, humans appear = pollute and destroy the Earth.
Appear artificial intelligences = destroy the earth and humans.

Plantae rulez.

DID YOU DESTROY THE SPACE ROBOT?
Please tell me you didn't. Oh and did you find the space crops as well?

 

[Matias Saibene]

DID YOU DESTROY THE SPACE ROBOT?
Please tell me you didn't. Oh and did you find the space crops as well?

The space robot is the current manager of deep space operations of MS Aerospace.

He was awarded the Carl Sagan Seal Of Approval.

Currently we are not studying crops in space, but it sounds interesting. We are exploring intergalactic travel (MSS Olympus Star Cruiser, MSS Leibniz, etc.).
On Earth we have made (cough) money laundering (cough) contract with NASA to investigate a theory that says we can find an alien clone of Giorgio Tsoukalos in Jupiter's atmosphere, (sarcasm) how exciting! (sarcasm).

 

[Bibi Uncle]

I was not referring to Microsoft Research (makers of the wonderful World Wide Telescope, among others). When I mention "MS", I mean a fictional company, stereotype of semi-corrupt, dysfunctional company, and very little serious, which makes "scientific studies", and owns many subsidiaries. It is similar to BuyNLarge (used in the movie Wall-E to demonstrate the irresponsibility with care for the environment).

I failed on this one :lol:

I still remember the jingle for BNL (I have the soundtrack) :
BuyNLarge is your superstore,
We got all you need, and so much more,
Happiness, is what we sell,
That's why everyone loves BNL.

 

[Linguofreak]

I'm going to say it. WRONG ARACHNID.

Whether you apply the name daddy longlegs to the Opiliones or the Pholcidae, neither is dangerous to humans, even in principle.

 

[MattBaker]

Keep calm and join the NWO

Did you just sum up WCW booking in one sentence?

Wrestling reference, move along everybody.:lol:

 

[Linguofreak]

It's dangerous to eat fish caught in French waters.

French fish are poissonous.

:leaving:

 

[jedidia]

It's especially hilarious when you see fish soup on the menu.

On that note, a friend of mine that spoke a much better french than english, once remarked that she usually has pain and honey for breakfast. I hadn't really figured her the type... :lol:

 

[n122vu]

I found two of these living beings (not exactly if an insect or arachnid). I think they can be dangerous, so I ask

What's this?

 

[BruceJohnJennerLawso]

In fact, Microsoft Research does exist. It's here : http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/

Although you wouldnt know it, based on how far behind microsoft fell during the 2000s