My best advice is to slow down ALOT while you are learning to land. Remember that vertical speed is only part of your vector. If you are flying at over 200m/s and falling too, they both add stress to the gear. try flying really close to the ground without touching it as well.
Not saying it's the best way but here's what works for me:
approach-make sure reticule is aligned with runway, going straight down it is really important
come at a low angle. everything being all flat in orbiter makes things look shallower and closer
i put on my airbrakes and have very low engine power when I am landing
slllloooooooooooowwwwwwww
also the vehicles like the xr and delta glider are hugely overpowered so the speeds that seem "normal" in them are really fast, once I thought i was landing slowly and realized i was still going 900m/s!!!