Humor Random Comments Thread

[SolarLiner]

Some users wondered why certain add-on, has been uploaded in the future:



A serious* research in the MS Research Facility, by a group of scientists# from Aperture Science, directed by Giorgio Tsoukalos, yielded the following results.

The time travel is possible, the Chronology Protection Conjecture is void.

Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking said it was impossible to travel in time, because today we are still not visited by tourists from the future.
But now Orbiter Hangar shows that someone has already built in the future a time machine, has released an add-on, and Orbiter Hangar servers have access to the future.
Also the name of user who posted this add-on is "flug" name that is very similar to flux = flux capacitor.

Irrefutable evidence, the time travel is possible.


*Lie.
#Scientists were drunk and were not scientists, were the cleaning staff of MS Research Facility, place that does not exist.

Please tell me Wheatley wasn't in the Aperture Science research group, or I don't check this research as serious. :lol:

 

[Matias Saibene]

*grabs flamethrower* KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!

Right now I order my MS Laboratories engineers to invent a solution to exterminate all the class Arachnida. For anything that can go wrong, I'll put this poster:

Time to set Argentina on fire then.

Do not worry, this country is self-flammable, it burns itself.

So they confiscated my Nutella at the airport. Seriously though, what were they afraid of?

Brief explanation.

Nutella is the only hard drug that I can't stop consuming.

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Please tell me Wheatley wasn't in the Aperture Science research group, or I don't check this research as serious. :lol:

We discarded all robots in the facility: Wheatley, GLaDOS, AUTO, HAL9000. Whenever a (artificial or not) intelligence is created, disasters occur on Earth.
For example, humans appear = pollute and destroy the Earth.
Appear artificial intelligences = destroy the earth and humans.

Plantae rulez.

 

[mojoey]

Do not worry, this country is self-flammable, it burns itself.

I know a few people who can help out with that.

 

[ISProgram]

Believe it or not, daddy longlegs and this thing are in the same group, collectively known as harvestmen. None are venomous, despite the myths about daddy longlegs being extremely venomous but unable to pierce human skin.

Ah, man, you almost made me say something...

I'm going to say it. [ame="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pholcidae"]WRONG ARACHNID[/ame]. :lol:

---------- Post added at 08:24 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:23 PM ----------

I know a few people who can help out with that.

Politicians?

 

[Bibi Uncle]

#Scientists were drunk and were not scientists, were the cleaning staff of MS Research Facility, place that does not exist.

In fact, Microsoft Research does exist. It's here : http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/

 

[MattBaker]

I know a few people who can help out with that.

Only problem is that some things are so dense that they're practically un-ignitable.

 

[Matias Saibene]

Politicians?

Probes.

In fact, Microsoft Research does exist. It's here : http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/

I was not referring to Microsoft Research (makers of the wonderful World Wide Telescope, among others). When I mention "MS", I mean a fictional company, stereotype of semi-corrupt, dysfunctional company, and very little serious, which makes "scientific studies", and owns many subsidiaries. It is similar to BuyNLarge (used in the movie Wall-E to demonstrate the irresponsibility with care for the environment).

For example, the MS Mathematical Center, proposed this solution (a parody of statements of Dimitri Rogozin):

MS Enterprises, Inc. manufacturing products... that do not work.

In addition I am writing a science fiction story in which MS Enterprises is the opposite to the above, but also with a touch of humor:uhh:.

 

[SolarLiner]

Right now I order my MS Laboratories engineers to invent a solution to exterminate all the class Arachnida. For anything that can go wrong, I'll put this poster:

Do not worry, this country is self-flammable, it burns itself.


Brief explanation.

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We discarded all robots in the facility: Wheatley, GLaDOS, AUTO, HAL9000. Whenever a (artificial or not) intelligence is created, disasters occur on Earth.
For example, humans appear = pollute and destroy the Earth.
Appear artificial intelligences = destroy the earth and humans.

Plantae rulez.

DID YOU DESTROY THE SPACE ROBOT?
Please tell me you didn't. Oh and did you find the space crops as well?

 

[Matias Saibene]

DID YOU DESTROY THE SPACE ROBOT?
Please tell me you didn't. Oh and did you find the space crops as well?

The space robot is the current manager of deep space operations of MS Aerospace.

He was awarded the Carl Sagan Seal Of Approval.

Currently we are not studying crops in space, but it sounds interesting. We are exploring intergalactic travel (MSS Olympus Star Cruiser, MSS Leibniz, etc.).
On Earth we have made (cough) money laundering (cough) contract with NASA to investigate a theory that says we can find an alien clone of Giorgio Tsoukalos in Jupiter's atmosphere, (sarcasm) how exciting! (sarcasm).

 

[Bibi Uncle]

I was not referring to Microsoft Research (makers of the wonderful World Wide Telescope, among others). When I mention "MS", I mean a fictional company, stereotype of semi-corrupt, dysfunctional company, and very little serious, which makes "scientific studies", and owns many subsidiaries. It is similar to BuyNLarge (used in the movie Wall-E to demonstrate the irresponsibility with care for the environment).

I failed on this one :lol:

I still remember the jingle for BNL (I have the soundtrack) :
BuyNLarge is your superstore,
We got all you need, and so much more,
Happiness, is what we sell,
That's why everyone loves BNL.

 

[Linguofreak]

I'm going to say it. WRONG ARACHNID.

Whether you apply the name daddy longlegs to the Opiliones or the Pholcidae, neither is dangerous to humans, even in principle.

 

[MattBaker]

Keep calm and join the NWO

Did you just sum up WCW booking in one sentence?

Wrestling reference, move along everybody.:lol:

 

[Linguofreak]

It's dangerous to eat fish caught in French waters.

French fish are poissonous.

:leaving:

 

[jedidia]

It's especially hilarious when you see fish soup on the menu.

On that note, a friend of mine that spoke a much better french than english, once remarked that she usually has pain and honey for breakfast. I hadn't really figured her the type... :lol:

 

[n122vu]

I found two of these living beings (not exactly if an insect or arachnid). I think they can be dangerous, so I ask

What's this?

 

[BruceJohnJennerLawso]

In fact, Microsoft Research does exist. It's here : http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/

Although you wouldnt know it, based on how far behind microsoft fell during the 2000s

 

[Urwumpe]

Although you wouldnt know it, based on how far behind microsoft fell during the 2000s

Fell? Where?

Actually, its still pretty hard to do business without Microsoft.

It is no longer the dominating IT company, because much more growth happened in the cloud and mobile computing. But microsoft did never fall - it just didn't grow as fast as others. Microsoft invested much more into stability in the past years - like contributing a lot into Linux development.

Though you have to declare there: All hypes are fleeting and Apple without Steve Jobs only a shadow of its former self.

 

[BruceJohnJennerLawso]

Fell? Where?

Actually, its still pretty hard to do business without Microsoft.

It is no longer the dominating IT company, because much more growth happened in the cloud and mobile computing. But microsoft did never fall - it just didn't grow as fast as others. Microsoft invested much more into stability in the past years - like contributing a lot into Linux development.

Tablets, internet search, social networking...

I mean come on, they have the advantage of having their operating system preinstalled on every new computer sold in North America, but they still cant manage to reliably get users to switch to newer versions every 3-4 years. Its 2015, and computers in workplaces still run Windows XP, XP!

Though you have to declare there: All hypes are fleeting and Apple without Steve Jobs only a shadow of its former self.

Im not a fan of Apple tech myself, but what difference does Steve Jobs absence really make to apple?

 

[Scav]

Im not a fan of Apple tech myself, but what difference does Steve Jobs absence really make to apple?

He's not there to scream at the developers provide valuable insight and inspiration.

 

[ISProgram]

The NewSpace Movement

Well, my teacher just gave me an idea.

I'm writing a article for the school newspaper on the "NewSpace" movement, and I need (other) people's opinions, feedback, etc., on this movement. He informed me that I could ask anyone, not just in the classroom. So, what better place to ask, then on one of the most popular spaceflight forums on the internet? :thumbup:

I understand this subject is rather broad, so I'm not asking for anything specific.