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Humor Random Comments Thread

For the start:

"Zores" = chaos
"Halt die Gosch" = shut up!

Also, care for false cognates in Hessian and German: One of my biggest errors after I migrated here, "Kraan" means faucet, not crane.
 
Well, at least it's still german. Breton, for example sounds like another language. Patois kinda sounded like a weird subtype of french, but, then again, patois is such a wide term that I couldn't possibly know what I was hearing exactly. But both seem to go, at least to the untrained ear, beyond simple accents and dialects.
 
steph said:
Well, at least it's still german. Breton, for example sounds like another language. Patois kinda sounded like a weird subtype of french, but, then again, patois is such a wide term that I couldn't possibly know what I was hearing exactly. But both seem to go, at least to the untrained ear, beyond simple accents and dialects.
Click to expand...

Breton should be a celtic language, so Irish and Scotish people might have a better chance there.

Also, German is a VERY wide category - we even have grammatic differences between the various contemporary dialects and its much worse during the evolution of the language.

In Hessian, its "Ebbel" for apple, in lower saxon, its "Appel". Notice that the Hessian form is even closer to English phonetically. But still understandable as German, right? Now, lets go to the plural:

German: Äpfel
Bavarian: Epfa
Hessian: Ebbels
Low Saxon: Appels
English: Apples
 
Well that's the end of the skiing part of my holiday. At least I got down the mountain under my own steam, now to camp out in a bar. Why o why can't you get co-codamol over the counter in Austria. Alcohol will have to do.
 
I love ice cream, so I do have an ice cream spoon of course. When I lay down that spoon on the glass cover of our stove and put it into motion, it swings from left to right for an amazing 3 minutes and 45 seconds. I discovered it recently while I was washing the dishes.

It's pretty much like the Eulers Disk...

 
Over the past decade, freefall has more and more developed into a humorous study of economic ethics. And it's doing an absolutely brilliant job at it.
 
Speaking of linguistic differences....a few years back, I was driving home one summer evening, when I stumble upon a car going wrong way on a narrow one way street. I flash the lights, honk shortly, he doesn't seem to realise he's on a wrong way street. So, I sort of try to maneuver to let him pass, I realise he's almost certainly a tourist (big luggage rack etc), so I open the window and just tell him in English it's a one-way street and he should turn around or something. He looks at me a bit confused, not sure he understood, and goes 'Scheize?' Tired old me thinks he's asking if he did some s**t or something . So, I go 'nein , nicht scheize, oder verboten', not realising that it should have been aber, then I tell him in English I could go around the adjacent roundabout and put the four-way lights on so he could reverse out, gesturing in that direction so he understands ( he basically had zero visibility if he tried it on his own). So, he looks back, gestures towards the roundabout and goes 'Scheize?' again. I'm like 'no, but there will be scheize if you keep going the way you're headed'. He goes 'Danke', and wants to drive off . I honk again and tell him simply it's 'not ok', he looks at me dumbfounded, then he shows me a leaflet. He was looking for a campîng near the town of La Chaize :ROFLMAO: . Though I'm not sure he was german, or else he would have been more communicative in that language :D
 
That reminds me of the time I was new to the balkans and got a bit lost, and tried to figure out with my Bosnian passengers where we were. In my opinion, we were right in front of a certain turn visible on the map, only I didn't know the word for a turn. Since I had already realised that, especially when it came to cars, there's plenty of german words in bosnian, I figured I might just try the german term, probably somebody would understand. The german word just happens to be "Kurve".

So what came out of my mouth would approximately translate to: "Do you see that who** up there? I'm sure it's this who** right here on the map...". And of course, because everybody was looking at me in a mix of shock and confusion, I had to repeat and elaborate a couple of times just how exactly I thought about that who**...

Also, a colleague of mine once excused himself from company by saying "I need to go home into my wife". After realising that there was something wrong with that sentence by the hearty laughter of his friends, he corrected himself: "Ah, wait, no, I need to go home onto my wife... right?"
Languages are hysterical...
 
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Todays linguistic trouble. In Austria in a taxi, on the way to the airport, trying to make small talk to a Norwegian woman in broken German as her English was worse than my German. I think English was her 4th or 5th language.
 
As always, English the global language, for obvious reasons....
 
steph said:
Speaking of linguistic differences....a few years back, I was driving home one summer evening, when I stumble upon a car going wrong way on a narrow one way street. I flash the lights, honk shortly, he doesn't seem to realise he's on a wrong way street. So, I sort of try to maneuver to let him pass, I realise he's almost certainly a tourist (big luggage rack etc), so I open the window and just tell him in English it's a one-way street and he should turn around or something. He looks at me a bit confused, not sure he understood, and goes 'Scheize?' Tired old me thinks he's asking if he did some s**t or something . So, I go 'nein , nicht scheize, oder verboten', not realising that it should have been aber, then I tell him in English I could go around the adjacent roundabout and put the four-way lights on so he could reverse out, gesturing in that direction so he understands ( he basically had zero visibility if he tried it on his own). So, he looks back, gestures towards the roundabout and goes 'Scheize?' again. I'm like 'no, but there will be scheize if you keep going the way you're headed'. He goes 'Danke', and wants to drive off . I honk again and tell him simply it's 'not ok', he looks at me dumbfounded, then he shows me a leaflet. He was looking for a campîng near the town of La Chaize :ROFLMAO: . Though I'm not sure he was german, or else he would have been more communicative in that language :D
Click to expand...

True, we have quite a lot of German or Nederlands tourists in the region. The Côte d'Azur is a bit too hot for them :) I don't blame them, +40°C for a week or more in Summer is now a common thing in the South-East.
 
Important lesson for people, who prefer to learn by the errors of others:

1 AM is a really bad time to decide to fix a clogged washbasin by disassembling an antique siphon.

  1. Because its the worst time of the day to realize that your assorted collection of O-rings is somewhere else.
  2. Because tired people are less dextrous. Especially if you start at a low level.
  3. Ouch.
 
In the process of changing my employer I passed my medical check today (every three years below 55y and once a year above). It's interesting that my hearing ability is, according to the doctor and the audiogram, "remarkably above average". Even though I have tinnitus for more than 30 years now. Or maybe it's not even a real tinnitus but a natural frequency in my ears I'm able to hear :unsure:🤷‍♂️

But the first sign of aging seems to be on the horizon. I might need reading glasses within the next few years 😂 Although I don't notice it at all in everyday life.

So, I hear music very loud with headphones on a regular basis for decades. And I spent about 60,000 hours in front of computer displays in my life for now. Didn't seem to have any negative impact on my ears and eyes...
 
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