Humor Random Comments Thread

[Linguofreak]

"What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?" is actually quite easy to answer after asking exactly one additional question:

"What is the coefficient of restitution for the proposed collision?"

For e = 1, the immovable object becomes an unstoppable force, and vice versa.

For e = 0, the two merge and proceed in the same direction at half the speed at which the unstoppable force was originally moving.

For -1 < e < 1, the rest of the universe is obliterated by the energy released.

For e = -1, the two pass through each other without interacting (this is the only case in which the mass of either may be finite).

 

[steph]

They glitch out

 

[Andy44]

A Submarine at or near its crush depth is more at risk of hull failure, than one at 75% max depth. Also the design and materials have a lot of effect on the ship resilience to damage.

I would be more concerned with the crew. I would think getting thrown around the inside of a Submarine would result in some serious injures.

Nuclear Depth Charge: Operation Wigwam Nuclear Test 1955 DOE, USAF Lookout Mountain - YouTube - start at 21:00 for the detonation.
Operation Wigwam - wikipedia

That should give you a clue as to what a sub-surface Nuke depth charge looks like.

And may I add that the uploader of that video, Jeff Quitney, uploads the very best in interesting old technical US government videos. Fantastic channel.

 

[jedidia]

I've never been a programming language fanboy. Always saw the different merits and drawbacks of the languages I was using, knowing that there's a right language for the right job.

But after working with Kotlin for over 6 months, I start to feel the wish that every language was more like it. Even C# starts feeling cumbersome and clumsy in comparison.

I think I'll never write pure Java again.

Happy 1.2 release, Kotlin!

 

[tl8]

I've never been a programming language fanboy. Always saw the different merits and drawbacks of the languages I was using, knowing that there's a right language for the right job.

But after working with Kotlin for over 6 months, I start to feel the wish that every language was more like it. Even C# starts feeling cumbersome and clumsy in comparison.

I think I'll never write pure Java again.

Happy 1.2 release, Kotlin!

Oh, but have you tried Rust yet? Everything should be written in Rust

 

[Urwumpe]

I've never been a programming language fanboy. Always saw the different merits and drawbacks of the languages I was using, knowing that there's a right language for the right job.

But after working with Kotlin for over 6 months, I start to feel the wish that every language was more like it. Even C# starts feeling cumbersome and clumsy in comparison.

I think I'll never write pure Java again.

Happy 1.2 release, Kotlin!

Must be a reason for this... like this being the prime language for Android now and Google putting a whole lotta money into it.

 

[jedidia]

Oh, but have you tried Rust yet? Everything should be written in Rust

Interesting. I've worked with Clojure, so I do know the advantages of an inherently threadsafe language, but it's only rarely needed at the high level I usually work. But at the low level Rust appears to be used at I can well imagine this to be a tremendous timesaver (not to mention very conductive to stability).

Must be a reason for this... like this being the prime language for Android now and Google putting a whole lotta money into it.

That certainly helped the language spread like wildfire this past year, but it's been in development since 2010... They have done a lot of things very right long before google joined the fray.

 

[Urwumpe]

Oh, but have you tried Rust yet? Everything should be written in Rust

You should better try Haskell. Everything can be solved better in Haskell.

#ViVsEmacs

 

[PhantomCruiser]

Moved me from day shift to nights so I can babysit the feed pumps as we start the unit back up. I'm tired.

No feed pump work tonight. We are a long way away from mode 4. Sheesh. This isn't the "never-ending-outage" yet, but we're already 3 days behind. My guess is we will finish out ten days late from the rev zero schedule.

 

[MaverickSawyer]

That's... not too bad, imo. Better to take your time and make sure it's been done right than to rush and possibly cause problems down the line... especially with nuclear power.

 

[Urwumpe]

An intact water-tight camera was found at the shore of the tiny German Island Hallig Süderoog, that was washed ashore two months earlier on the first day of September 2017 in Thornwick Bay, England. Does somebody here know a roughly 12 year old boy, who is missing his camera?

https://www.facebook.com/halligsuederoog/videos/812963022220799/

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/...rkshire-to-wash-up-on-german-island-kg5h96cs3


Süderoog is one of the smallest German Halligen, with just 2 inhabitants and 0.62 square kilometers area. The only way to visit this island is walking with a guide from the island Pellworm during low tide.

The tiny green spot in the center of the picture is Süderoog:

Above it is Pellworm, in the background with the many wind turbines is the coastline of the state Schleswig-Holstein. Its a really lonely place. The shoal in the bottom of the picture is Süderoogsand, the largest sand shoal in this region, which is slowly traveling eastwards at 40 meters per year. It caused many shipwrecks in the past and from time to time, ships that sank centuries ago reappear there.

The German maritime rescue center has already confirmed with a simulation that the camera could be from England and it did get there:

https://www.seenotretter.de/presse/...eren-nordsee-odyssee-schiffbruechiger-kamera/

 

[Thunder Chicken]

OK, for some dark humor that my mother would approve of.

My mother passed away early yesterday morning in the ICU after a brief struggle with cancer-related pneumonia. I was there and the doctors left me alone with her with some privacy to mourn and say my tearful goodbyes. After a while I composed myself and was basically contemplating the temporary nature of the human condition over her remains when a respiratory nurse walked in and said she needed to do her rounds. The nurses and attendants had been removing IVs and such when I came in, so I thought nothing of this.

The nurse proceeded to walk over to my mother, checking my mother's wristband for her name and asking *my mother* rather loudly how she pronounced her name. She then felt her wrist for her pulse, and then pulled out her stethoscope to listen to her chest. I raised my eyebrows at this, as my mother was very clearly and sincerely dead (everything was disconnected, respirator shut off, no heart monitors, a disconnected trachea tube hanging out of her mouth, etc..). Seeing the potential for comedy here despite my grief, I asked "So, how is she doing?"

"Her pulse and breathing are very weak, I'm afraid" she responded.

"Well, the doctor said she was dead, so that might be the root cause of those symptoms" I replied.

She then looked at me wide-eyed, took in the whole scene and realized her error. She was horrified and stammered her apologies, where I just smiled and told her to relax; my mom wouldn't have it any other way.

Morbid timing but too funny not to share. The God of Universal Comedy is alive and well.

 

[Notebook]

Sorry to hear of this Thunder Chicken, condolences to you and yours,
George.

 

[PhantomCruiser]

That's... not too bad, imo. Better to take your time and make sure it's been done right than to rush and possibly cause problems down the line... especially with nuclear power.

That much I certainly understand, trust me. But if you've ever seen an episode of Benny Hill you'd understand our managers.

Another thing too, I've got leave scheduled. If they cancel it and I have to forfeit 80 hours of leave I'm going to be way beyond mad. Just take two weeks salary in cash, pour some lighter fluid on it and strick a match. That's a lot of money to lose.

 

[Urwumpe]

But if you've ever seen an episode of Benny Hill you'd understand our managers.

That is clearly an improvement, if you have to deal with such management:

Seriously: Its no good situation, if your everybody in your team only needs 5 seconds from arriving at work to acid cynism.

---------- Post added at 10:34 ---------- Previous post was at 10:26 ----------

While are talking about madness: All six German navy submarines are currently out of duty, because some pea counter in the ministry decided to save a bit of money. Instead of keeping spareparts on stock in a depot like in the past, spareparts now have to be ordered at the manufacturer on demand, which takes a few months. Well, it isn't that bad because we currently also only few three full crews for the six submarines. The other crews are waiting for new crew members, who are still in training...

 

[Linguofreak]

Q: Why did the dairy farmer start a mining project in Angband?

A: To find milk ore.

:leaving:

 

[MaverickSawyer]

...
:huh:
What.

 

[Linguofreak]

...
:huh:
What.

If you haven't read the Silmarillion, you probably won't get it.

If you have, it's an abysmally bad pun.

 

[PhantomCruiser]

Not that bad a pun. Solidly placed in the category of dad joke. Nerdy dad joke, but still.

Did you hear about the psychic midget that escaped from prison?





It was announced on the news that there was a small medium, at large. :leaving:

 

[Linguofreak]

Not that bad a pun. Solidly placed in the category of dad joke. Nerdy dad joke, but still.

Yes, but consider that the nerd telling this particular nerdy dad joke is not a father, nor even married.

And heck, "dad joke" is a category I've only heard used in the past five years or so. Kids these days... when I was a teen, we didn't give our fathers the lame cover of "dad joke", we called their jokes heinous puns and retaliated in kind!