Humor Random Comments Thread

[mojoey]

Here's an outline of what you should do.

1)Go to Blacksmith
2)Get Cattle Prod (needs to be able to brand your initials)
3)Wait for summer (is there summer in canada? or is it just, not as cold as winter?)
4)Heat up Cattle Prod
5)Run up behind her (preferably when she's wearing shorts or sleeveless shirt)
6)Brand her
7)???
8)Profit


or you could just talk to her...but where's the fun in that?

 

[Codz]

Here's an outline of what you should do.

1)Go to Blacksmith
2)Get Cattle Prod (needs to be able to brand your initials)
3)Wait for summer (is there summer in canada? or is it just, not as cold as winter?)
4)Heat up Cattle Prod
5)Run up behind her (preferably when she's wearing shorts or sleeveless shirt)
6)Brand her
7)???
8)Profit


or you could just talk to her...but where's the fun in that?

That was vaguely disturbing...:uhh:

 

[BruceJohnJennerLawso]

:hesaid::facepalm:

I can tell you that she will read this thread over my dead body now :lol:

Edit: I meant YOU MOJOEY!!! not codz

 

[Quick_Nick]

:hesaid::facepalm:

I can tell you that she will read this thread over my dead body now :lol:

Edit: I meant YOU MOJOEY!!! not codz

Hey, he gave a choice, and you seem to have plenty of "social skill"/sanity to pick the right action.
(There's a tiny chance either will work, but those women frighten me)

 

[Linguofreak]

So one of the guys at work is working on a machine whose owner uses Bitlocker. Bitlocker is acting screwy and causing explorer to crash, and as explorer provides the taskbar and desktop as well as the file browser, the only remaining way to launch programs (for example, a command prompt to run "bde-manage -off") is the "Start New Task" dialog in task manager. We were scratching our heads a bit as to how to run anything with administrative privileges from that dialog, though. Turns out that the "Show processes from all users" button on the processes tab restarts task manager with admin rights, whereupon the new task dialog has a checkbox to run the new task with admin rights. One would think that Microsoft would make things a bit more obvious. To wit, the fact that viewing processes from all users would require privilege elevation is obvious, but that that button is what you need to press to get privilege elevation for other purposes is not.

 

[jedidia]

Bosnian restaurants are mandated by law to have their menus in two languages, "to encourage tourism". Because there's not much tourism in Bosnia anyways, and bosnians generally don't give a damn and can't even be bothered to use google translate or much less somebody who has actually studied the language, but instead "a relative who speaks perfect english", every now and then you get the stuff of legends:

 

[Urwumpe]

So what do you think should I say to her when I see her? (A rough outline, not a speech :lol

Use your own words. Not mine. If you are not a great actor, she will notice it and turn to an angry goddess. In the same sense, stay away from standard phrases and pick up lines (Such only serve two purposes: Test the humor of the woman and underline that you are only interested in sexual intercourse).

Your first objective should be a simple harmless date. Just a meeting outside your usual routines. Think of the conversation like spaceflight: Instead of fighting gravitation and use extreme forces, only direct the conversation with small well-planned impulses in the right direction and let things take their way (and time). If she has the same objective as you have, you will have a date sooner than you can even dream of. If not, it pays out to slowly and carefully direct the conversation to the point that NOT going to a date with you is unthinkable. (I used the last option last year... it took a few weeks, but was worth the effort)

If you don't know her well, choose a place that you feel comfortable with. If you know her well, choose a place that she also feels comfortable with.

And remember: it is just one first date to find out how you both are outside your usual turf. Once you have one date, your goal is not the next date. It is finding out how well you really fit together. If all fits perfectly, the next date is already in the making. And then the next. And eventually it becomes a baby, running out of hair and annoying relatives of her. :lol:

 

[mojoey]

Hey, he gave a choice, and you seem to have plenty of "social skill"/sanity to pick the right action.
(There's a tiny chance either will work, but those women frighten me)

Some people like to throw a wrench in the works, I throw cattle prods.

---------- Post added at 02:21 AM ---------- Previous post was at 02:18 AM ----------

To wit, the fact that viewing processes from all users would require privilege elevation is obvious, but that that button is what you need to press to get privilege elevation for other purposes is not.

Why not say "We'll let you look at all the processes, we just won't let you end them without admin permission."?

 

[Quick_Nick]

So one of the guys at work is working on a machine whose owner uses Bitlocker. Bitlocker is acting screwy and causing explorer to crash, and as explorer provides the taskbar and desktop as well as the file browser, the only remaining way to launch programs (for example, a command prompt to run "bde-manage -off") is the "Start New Task" dialog in task manager. We were scratching our heads a bit as to how to run anything with administrative privileges from that dialog, though. Turns out that the "Show processes from all users" button on the processes tab restarts task manager with admin rights, whereupon the new task dialog has a checkbox to run the new task with admin rights. One would think that Microsoft would make things a bit more obvious. To wit, the fact that viewing processes from all users would require privilege elevation is obvious, but that that button is what you need to press to get privilege elevation for other purposes is not.

At least for Windows 7, that admin shield icon usually appears on the 'see all processes' button.
I would have just tried safe mode to get stuff working again. (like uninstall Bitlocker for a bit or something)

 

[MattBaker]

image

I'd like to have a kilogram of burning kid for 25...whatever currency that is.
And as a contribution I'd have the mushroom on my mother-in-law's urn, thank you.

 

[Linguofreak]

Bosnian restaurants are mandated by law to have their menus in two languages, "to encourage tourism". Because there's not much tourism in Bosnia anyways, and bosnians generally don't give a damn and can't even be bothered to use google translate or much less somebody who has actually studied the language, but instead "a relative who speaks perfect english", every now and then you get the stuff of legends:

And that is exactly the sort of thing that encourages tourism.

---------- Post added at 11:40 ---------- Previous post was at 10:34 ----------

At least for Windows 7, that admin shield icon usually appears on the 'see all processes' button.

It does, but that button is only on one tab (rather than there being a menu item for it), and other actions that require administrative rights (such as starting a new task as admin) don't have any equivalent button. And you're more likely to remember that a button elevates privileges when not looking at it if it is labeled in text as doing so than if it has the shield icon.

Once you've done it once it's simple enough, but it's not very discoverable at all.

I would have just tried safe mode to get stuff working again. (like uninstall Bitlocker for a bit or something)

The guy working on it had already tried safe mode, and couldn't boot into safe mode without removing Bitlocker first. Thus the necessity to get an administrative command prompt running from task manager.

 

[TMac3000]

I feel like ass I hung out with a friend who had a bad cough, and now I'm having temps in excess of 38 C/100 F for a third day (with a heat index of about 120:lol

I'll go to the clinic on Saturday, but I'm looking at about 150 USD.

 

[Urwumpe]

I feel like ass I hung out with a friend who had a bad cough, and now I'm having temps in excess of 38 C/100 F for a third day (with a heat index of about 120:lol

I'll go to the clinic on Saturday, but I'm looking at about 150 USD.

38°C for three days? Clinic? Go to bed and have a real rest... Going to the medic with less than 40°C fever is deserting. :lol:

 

[Scav]

...but isn't going to bed and having a real rest considered dereliction of duty as well?

 

[Urwumpe]

...but isn't going to bed and having a real rest considered dereliction of duty as well?

Not if you stay at your unit and be ready to defend your bed to the last bullet. And if you have to sneeze at the enemy.

 

[mojoey]

Not if you stay at your unit and be ready to defend your bed to the last bullet. And if you have to sneeze at the enemy.

Whoa now, Biological Warfare was banned.

 

[MattBaker]

The Matt-Doctor policy has a few questions:
1st: Do you need a doctor to fix your state or not?
2nd: What can the doctor do to help you?
3rd: Is the medicine you'd get really necessary?
4th: Is the faster healing time via medicine worth the time spent waiting?
5th: Is there enough money and if so do you want to spend it on a faster healing or something else?
optional and omnipotent +/-: Do you need a certificate because you weren't at work?

4th usually includes "and meet strangers at the doctor and have to speak to weird desk clerks" but maybe I'm the only one...

In cases like yours I decided:
1st: nope
2nd: give you the typical: "drink a lot, sleep a lot, get some fresh air"-speech; at least here it's questionable if you'd get medicine
3rd: not really, no
4th: absolutely not
5th: money (or insurance) is there, but better spend on something else
+/-: usually at work with 38°
conclusion: 0/5 - -> nope


I feel weird for having a Matt-doctor policy.:uhh:

 

[n122vu]

I think everyone should have a Matt-Doctor policy...

 

[TMac3000]

For now Advil and Pepsi seems to be helping. Probably best to just keep applying that formula, and wait it out.

---------- Post added at 03:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:03 PM ----------

38°C for three days? Clinic? Go to bed and have a real rest... Going to the medic with less than 40°C fever is deserting. :lol:

40 C = 104 F = emergency room stuff. 105+ = hallucinations and possible brain damage. I'm really glad you're joking:rofl:

 

[Urwumpe]

40 C = 104 F = emergency room stuff. 105+ = hallucinations and possible brain damage. I'm really glad you're joking:rofl:

I already had 41°C ... it isn't that bad, the world just has more color. :lol: For exceeding to the brain damage region, you need really bad illnesses (failure of temperature regulation) or external heat sources.