Humor Random Comments Thread

[this is an old account]

City had to salt the roads today. Came up with this;


Coming up on the History Channel 3000: celebrating a millenium of History.

Don't miss an all new episode, Did Humans Really Come from Monkeys? Researchers find evidence that humans may actually be descendants of the fish. Extremely high concentrations of salt have been found in polar regions of what was North America. The artifacts found with them suggest that they date to about 1000 years old. Around that time the Earth began a global warming phase. The polar ice caps of the day may have melted and flooded the area.

Amazingly, civilization seems to not have been interrupted by this global change. Humans still lived in the regions that were covered in water! No evidence is found of monkeys suriving the catastrophe. Therefore, some leading scientists in the field suggest that humans could not have come from monkeys.

Further supporting this new idea is the records of the primitive protopeople themselves. Many have been translated to tell of a hidden city, Atlantis, submerged in water. "The primitive humans knew about a city that was engulfed in water. One day it was thriving, the next it was gone." So, the early people certainly thought that a continental sinking was a real possibility.

To seal the deal, little or no salt deposits have been found nearer to the equator. This indicates that the water never extended very far south. It also seems that it followed a seasonal pattern, where the waters expanded in the winter and receded in the summer. Researchers cannot yet explain the seasonal phenomenon, but progress is being made in the area.

So, just what was life like before the Great Heat era? Find out on Did Humans Really Come from Monkeys?. Catch it Monday at 8 ET.


Procrastination ftw.

I don't think that much salt would be enough to fool scientists- were talking a thousand years of new knowledge, technology, and improvements in record keeping. Assuming things turn out all right, I think they would know exponentially more about the past then us silly primitives. I think the whole "In a thousand years people may have a totally incorrect idea about what our lives are like" idea is getting outdated.

I would imagine that in 1000 years, we would have far more sophisticated transportation systems and far easier ways to make such roadways resistant to the elements. Random interjection! You could probably, well, download a publication from a central human knowledge database called The History of Transportation Systems- from Ships to Trains to Cars to Planes to Ships, and it could tell you all about roads and salt, and asphalt, and everything. A shorter, better title I just thought of is From Seaships to Spaceships: A History of Transportation Systems.


By the way, I want those royalties delivered to an account in my name in 1000 years when this hits the servers and makes the #1 spot on the "Most downloaded publications list".

 

[mojoey]

Bob is unemployed and applies for a job as a janitor at Microsoft. A manager at Human Resources interviews him in detail then asks him to wipe a few floors as a test. "OK," says the interviewer, "you're hired. Just give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the necessary documents." Bob says that he doesn't have a computer, so obviously has no e-mail address. The Microsoft interviewer tells him that without an e-mail address he virtually doesn't exist, so the company is unable to hire him. Disappointed and frustrated, Bob leaves the building with only 10 dollars in his pocket. He decides to go to the nearest supermarket and buy 10 pounds of tomatoes. He sells the tomatoes door-to-door and within two hours has doubled his capital. He repeats the process three times and ends up with 160 dollars. Realising that he can make a living this way, Bob works hard from early morning to late at night. Every day, he doubles or even triples his capital. After a short time, he buys a small van, then a truck, and soon he has an entire fleet for his deliveries. Within 5 years, Bob has established one of the largest food retail chains in the USA. He decides to think about his future and wants to get a financial plan drawn up for himself and his family. He contacts a financial consultant and they compile a pension plan. At the end of the discussion, the consultant asks Bob for his e-mail address in order to send him the corresponding documents, only to hear that Bob still does not own a computer and has no e-mail address. "That's weird," says the consultant. "You have built up a massive retail empire and you don't even have an e-mail address. Just imagine what you would have achieved if you'd had a computer." Bob thinks for a minute, then says: "I'd be a janitor at Microsoft."

 

[NovaSilisko]

I'll make orbiter stuff now, I promise

 

[MaverickSawyer]

:rofl:

 

[N_Molson]

A random cart of AMRAAMs for you :

 

[mojoey]

A random cart of AMRAAMs for you :

I am FPS Russia, and zis is a load of fun

 

[N_Molson]

I'm playing FreeFalcon 5.5 on the North Korean side, flying the Mig-29A (basic version, no jammer, of course), the best of what they have, and get blasted again and again by those.

The only weapons available are the russian AA8 & AA11 IR SRMs, so closing in from a pair of F-16s (not to mention F15s or F18s) is suicidal. I'm trying everything, really, but those AIM-120s are really pests !! Sometimes a few AA10 MRMs are available, they seem the only hope to inflict some losses to the enemy.

But really, that's hard (MIG-21s & 23s provide no support apart dropping like flies !!). :blink:

 

[astrosammy]

Need some HMMWV's?

 

[Urwumpe]

The only weapons available are the russian AA8 & AA11 IR SRMs, so closing in from a pair of F-16s (not to mention F15s or F18s) is suicidal. I'm trying everything, really, but those AIM-120s are really pests !! Sometimes a few AA10 MRMs are available, they seem the only hope to inflict some losses to the enemy.

Can't you sneak on them without using radar and by staying low? If I remember correctly, the German MiGs had been initially MiG-29As as well, and had been used very successfully against such jets, especially in close combat - the AA11 had been considered cheating.

after the reunification, they had been upgraded with NATO communication gear to become the MiG-29G, but the basic systems had been still MiG-29A.

 

[N_Molson]

Yes, that's the tactic I'm trying to refine, retreating to SAM/AAA sites when possible. But those F16s and allied jets have pretty good "look down" radars.

The idea is basically to glue to the hills, get just below the enemy, climb like a rocket, launch a burst of IR missles, then dive at 90°, and use the speed to get back to the relative safety of defensive AAA positions.

That requires a perfect timing

The good point is that the AA11 itself is excellent stuff as an IR SRM.

 

[Urwumpe]

Yes, that's the tactic I'm trying to refine, retreating to SAM/AAA sites when possible. But those F16s and allied jets have pretty good "look down" radars.

The idea is basically to glue to the hills, get just below the enemy, climb like a rocket, launch a burst of IR missles, then dive at 90°, and use the speed to get back to the relative safety of defensive AAA positions.

That requires a perfect timing

That they use radar already implies something wrong. usually, they should keep their radars off as long as possible and get guided without making electronic noise by AWACS. (And if AWACS can see you in advantageous terrain, you are doing something wrong, you need to pilot a lot, but you can stay in the radar shadow)

Otherwise, they really call for catching a missile. As North Korea, the longer ranged missiles should not be available, not even as SAM. But they can get lured into SAM traps.

You could of course also try to play with their missiles. If FreeFalcon is not done by absolute naive AMRAAM fanboys, the missiles should even under good circumstances have only a 80% hit rate. if you manage to play at the extreme range of the AMRAAMs, they might fire them at you under less than optimal circumstances. A rapid dive and break into one of the many valleys of NK could help luring the US fighters deep into NK while wasting missiles hunting the ghosts of their own radar. But that still means a 30%-50% chance that you will be joining Kim Jong-Il

But practically: North Korea is a really poor place for being pilot.

 

[mojoey]

freefalcon free?

 

[N_Molson]

http://www.freefalcon.com/forum/

Well, I made some search on the AIM120C and the Pk is about 90%. That's bad (for me).

The AI tends to depend a lot on the radar, that its main weakness. Else they don't get lured into traps and retreat when they are too far from their flight path or CAP position. Also the dynamic campaign engine plots decent missions packages. I got amazed when I saw on the campaign map that a wing of Su-25 managed to evade the US carrier group and strike a nuclear power plan in Japan !!!

The worst thing, in fact, is that I don't get any alert when an AIM120C is fired at me. I get an alarm when an F4-II is locking an AIM-7 on me, so those are pretty easy to evade, and the F4 is a sitting duck (for a MIG-29) without support. I think this is because the AIM-120C is an SARH (semi-active homing), so on the russian version of the RWR, the only fact that I receive enemy radar waves is enough to get killed without further warning. I also suspect a small bug there (at some point, the 120 becomes active, and there my RWR should scream like crazy).

Also, there is the context, I just flew a mission that was supposed to be a CAP at the frontline, but that I diverted when I saw a gorilla of maybe 20-25 fighters & bombers heading over Pyonyang. That was messy. Using the "no-radar, stick-the-ground, 90° climb" tactic, I got 3 of them, and even managed to land safely on a small airbase (the MIG-29 is also great for that, it can land on very short runways or even roads if needed).

In the campaign, China then Russia step in if you hold long enough against desperate odds. Here will be my luck to get some chinese modern fighters (J-10...) or up-to-date MIG31s with long-range missles that would be invaluable against those MRMs users !

 

[Arrowstar]

Atch.

I see what you did there. :lol:

 

[george7378]

One is very amused

 

[Urwumpe]

The worst thing, in fact, is that I don't get any alert when an AIM120C is fired at me. I get an alarm when an F4-II is locking an AIM-7 on me, so those are pretty easy to evade, and the F4 is a sitting duck (for a MIG-29) without support. I think this is because the AIM-120C is an SARH (semi-active homing), so on the russian version of the RWR, the only fact that I receive enemy radar waves is enough to get killed without further warning. I also suspect a small bug there (at some point, the 120 becomes active, and there my RWR should scream like crazy).

Wrong there, it is no SARH. It is inertial guided with updates from the firing aircraft until the active radar activates. The behavior of the RWR is not unrealistic there, you really need a complex RWR to detect the small changes in the firing aircrafts radar and even if no changes appear that can mean bad news.

You have to assume that they fire at you. Otherwise you will notice the AMRAAM when it is too late to evade.

 

[N_Molson]

Thanks, that explains it. Now I take evasive action as soon as a F16 or more recent is radiating on me, and it gets better.

Also as the conflict is escalating my squadron is getting a steady supply of AA10 (russian undercover help ? ), that should help a lot !

I really should focus on those A10s, they are what decide of the success or not of allied ground forces.

 

[Urwumpe]

I really should focus on those A10s, they are what decide of the success or not of allied ground forces.

Yes, and A-10s can only fly if they have air superiority. Otherwise, it is too risky for them to come out. The A-10 can defend itself in air combat, but it isn't made for being exposed.

 

[N_Molson]

That's it, though in the campaign, they gladly slaughter MIG21bis, MIG23 and other H-5 (those aircraft seem to be helpless). Maybe that's not so unrealistic given that they can carry the AIM9 series, which are usually enough to get rid of those older aircrafts...

I just had a great moment of shame, when, fully armed and having successfully ambushed 2 F16 returning from an attack mission, I got too close behind the leader for using the AA11s and couldn't hit him with the 30mm gun !! Of course, after 30 good seconds, the wingman merrily sent a Sidewinder on my tail. End of the story. :facepalm:

 

[astrosammy]