Chuck Norris jokes

[markl316]

Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris can eat coal and poop out diamonds.

Chuck Norris cloggs the toilet when he pees.

Chuck Norris once got into a fight with God. While we are still looking for God, we know Chuck Norris is somewhere in Texas.

 

[n122vu]

Oh no!!!!! As if the trade channel in WoW isn't bad enough!!! I can't get away from these!!!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!

Oh well, if ya can't beat 'em.....

Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Turns out Apollo 13 was actually damaged when Chuck Norris hit the service module with a roundhouse kick. Seems he misunderstood the announcement about Ken Mattingly's replacement and thought Jack Bauer was on board...

 

[eveningsky339]

Chuck Norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass.


At night.

 

[Pilot7893]

When Chuck Norris does a reundevous, he sets an intersect point and dares the ISS to move


-----Posted Added-----

^

:yarly!: It was for 'Kick Drugs Out of America', my mom was the local organizer. :speakcool:



...."Chuck Norris is so old he listens to linkin park".

You mean "Roundhouse kick drugs out of America?"

 

[n72.75]

The original stuff http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bill_Brasky

Where all the Chuck Norris stuff copied off of.
And Pilot.... ANYONE can get a Big Mac from MacDonalds.... THAT'S WHERE THEY'RE SOLD.

durr

 

[razgriz31m]

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the 5 N-1 rockets, the reason why they're all gone.
Chuck Norris secretly piloted the Buran.
He punched Oprah in the face while cooking Oreo's

 

[John_L]

My all time favorite....

 

[W35M4N]

The original stuff
And Pilot.... ANYONE can get a Big Mac from MacDonalds.... THAT'S WHERE THEY'RE SOLD.

I think it was a joke about the service at McDonalds, which I can personally attest to being not so great most of the time. I am surprised when the order is actually right. No joke.

He's gonna be very sad that you mistreated his beloved donkey.

LOL I laughed harder at that than the rest of this thread!

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass. This apparent paradox ultimately led to the collapse of the Soviet Union.

That is a cover story made up by the U.S. Government, NASA, the Illuminati and the Black Helicopter pilots to cover up the truth. What really happened was, in soviet russia, you kicked chuck norris' ass, but his ass was infinitely stronger than your foot causing you to explode so hard you collapsed the soviet union.