Humor: Ideas for weapon manufacturers

[ar81]

Weapon manufacturers make money with nearly every kind of warfare.
But there is one that remains unexplored: Spiritual warfare...

The only problem is that they should convince governments about the existence of paranormal. The advantage of that is that politicians could truly argue that they are fighting evil while using taxpayers money to buy paranormal weapons of mass destruction...

:rofl:

 

[Artlav]

The only problem is that they should convince governments about the existence of paranormal. The advantage of that is that politicians could truly argue that they are fighting evil while using taxpayers money to buy paranormal weapons of mass destruction...

In the current chaos of the world we live in, it might even work. Hire a few stage magicians, get some government convinced, and full ahead reaping the dollars harvest!

Hm. Who could be the enemy in such a war?

 

[Urwumpe]

Aren't we already fighting the paranormal in politics? I don't know any other field, where you deal more with virtual threats and not existing goods.

 

[jedidia]

But there is one that remains unexplored: Spiritual warfare...

unfortunately, you're wrong. It's not your typical weapons manufacturer making money with it, but there still are people around.

here's a nice little example:

http://www.harvestwarriors.com/store/index.php?l=product_list&c=1

Mostly books, but other nifty stuff too. My very special favourite is the "sacred anointing oil" for 45 bucks under miscellaneous :dry:

 

[ar81]

Afraid of ghosts? Haunted house?
The ghost of Saddam Hussein might frighten your kids... buy your new paranormal Ghostbuster Magnum 45... :rofl:

 

[Ghostrider]

There's something strange in your neighborhood.
Who ya gonna call...

 

[Urwumpe]

There's something strange in your neighborhood.
Who ya gonna call...

I ain't afraid of no ghosts.

 

[ar81]

Headline news: Food inflation. Crisis caused by weapon manufacturers which raised demand of garlic for antivampire automatic weapons.

------------------------

Weapons Dealer proposal to Russian government:

Dear Russian president:

Hereby we introduce the new state of the art weapons to help your country.
We have done some paranormal research, based on the documents written by H. P. Blavatsky and we discovered that NATO is a paranormal creature that is controlling the minds of europeans.
It seems that the creature generates heat waves that have killed many Europeans and cheated the world to make us believe that Global Warming is responsible for those casualties.

Fortunately, our scientists have discovered a way to neutralize that ghost. You only need to send a geostationary satellite of ours to orbit, that is equipped with astral and etheric sun powered spiritual beam with alpha and beta vibrations, and paranormal sensors that are capable of detecting layers of most of the creatures described by H.P. Blavatsky. This is a unique offer and we offer a 5% discount if you buy in the next few hours...

Best regards

MBA. John Doe
CEO
Spiritual Guns Corp.

-----------------------

Dear presidents of US and Russia:

We are aware about Remote Viewing done by US and Russia and the specially trained psychics for 'eavesdroping'.
Our scientists have developed a more advanced device that is more user friendly that do not require psychics anymore and they have an LCD display and a recording system. Those are capable of FTL watching every spiritual plane except Nirvana, so those devices could be useful not only to spy yor enemies, but also to view and listen other planets and stars without expensive probes by using a special spiritual Alcubierre drive.

Audio/Video system is capable of acquiring acoustic wave as well as electromagnetic wave signals and could be useful in your plans to invade the home planet of the aliens that were captured and are held in Area 51.
It will be only a matter of time before we can create "spiritual wormhole troop carriers" to deliver soldiers to that alien home planet.

The high effectiveness has, however, a high price.

But we are aware that it will be a great investment, and we encourage you to convince taxpayers about the need of using government funds to buy such artifact for spiritual warfare.
Best regards

MBA John Doe
CEO
Spiritual Guns Corp.

 

[Bill LeClere]

hunh

maybe it'll get David Copperfield off of TV.

 

[ar81]

maybe it'll get David Copperfield off of TV.

Yes, he is using classified paranormal methods in public, risking exposure of government remote viewing program, funded with taxpayers money... :rofl::rofl:
---------------------------------
>CIA logged call
>Status: Classified
>Phone number: 1-800-MYGHOST
>
>Transcript: Hello, I wanted to report that someone leaked a script about paranormal prototype guns that are being developed as part of our weapons of spiritual mass destruction development for spiritual warfare program against evil. The script is becoming famous under the name of a comedy called "Ghostbusters". As company representative I would like you to encourage government employees not to leak such sensitive information on spiritual possessions of supernatural wars.

Fortunately our operation has a cover up of psychiatric research, as all patients that carry a ghost (subjects of possessions) have been diagnosed as cases Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.


-----Posted Added-----


TV advertising of spiritual weapon manufacturers:

"If you see my hand, you may think that I have nothing in it. But in fact I have a heavy assault spiritual rifle, made with the latest paranormal technology. It can kill ghosts, phantoms, spectums, poltergeist and other dangerous creatures of evil.

It is useful to exorcise demons too.

It normally costs $100k but we are offering now a special discount, so for only $1000 you can have yours. Do not be fooled by the apparent emptiness of our warehouses, we have plenty of inventory of those advanced babies so you can buy them. If you ever wanted to hunt spirits, this is your chance!!".

 

[willy88]

Well, it works for computers:

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MM0Z_jCrGo"]YouTube - Pendulum dowsing: diagnose your PC[/ame]

 

[Sherrif of Nottingham]

lolz... seriously??? I hope nobody believes that...

"Computer Virus Magnified 500x" XD

 

[Andy44]

 

[Ghostrider]

 

[W35M4N]

Me and my brother both really had to pee one time so we peed at the same time and all of a sudden I thought "Don't cross the streams!" I would have pissed myself laughing if I wasn't already pissing. (Edit for spelling)

 

[Andy44]

If weapons manufacturers were really serious, they would invest in Laser Cats!

 

[W35M4N]

If weapons manufacturers were really serious, they would invest in Laser Cats!

YouTube - The REAL Laser Cats

OH NO! A LASER DOG!!!