Spaceflight jokes

[unussapiens]

How do you fit challenger's crew in a Volkswagen Beetle?

2 in the front, 2 in the back and 3 in the ash tray.

 

[SiberianTiger]

After Apollo 11 landing, the Politbureau summons lead Soviet space designers for whipping. A member says:
"Now, when you've lost the space race to the Moon, you have one last chance to fix your fault. You shall put our Cosmonauts on the Sun!"
"The Sun?! But it's too hot over there, to say the least!"
"Do you think that Politbureau is a bunch of idiots? We have thought this over for you. You'll send them at night!"

 

[C3PO]

Well, a famous insider for Apollo times was still "I wonder where Gunter went?".

:rofl:

How about the sign in the Mercury capsule sayng "No basket ball in this area"

 

[Urwumpe]

Maybe we should pick some classic jokes and transfer them into spaceflight.

Like...

Problem: Automatic docking is a bit rough.
Solution: Automatic docking capability was never installed.

Problem: IMU #3 missing
Solution: IMU #3 found in the forward avionics bay.

Problem: I guess the RCS Block #2 got frozen
Solution: I guess you are right

Problem: Forward cabin overpressure vent valve is too loud.
Solution: No overpressure vent valve located in the forward cabin.

 

[NukeET]

:rofl:

How about the sign in the Mercury capsule sayng "No basket ball in this area"

Actually it was handball.

 

[Quick_Nick]

The Apollo 12 lunar checklist held interesting surprises for the crew.

 

[n122vu]

The Apollo 12 lunar checklist held interesting surprises for the crew.

Moonbase Porn!!!!

 

[silent_protagonist]

We could make our own?
I reckon we could make some nerdy variations on the phrase, what goes up, must come down. If you get enough height and horizontal velocity, what goes up won't come down...at least for a few orbits. Maybe a bad example...unless you achieved escape velocity.

See sig. Unfortunately I didn't think of it first, it's a quote from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (still one of my favorite computer games, even after 10 years).

And then of course there's the famous line from Toy Story: "That's not flying! That's falling with style." I can't help thinking about this every time I do a free return or multiple slingshots. It'd almost be a good candidate for an Orbiter unofficial motto. (Maybe we should just start talking about "falling" the Deltaglider to Mars, rather than flying it there.)

 

[Pilot7893]

"Atlantis, you are looking good. Continue with mission procedures"
"Rodger that"
-rushes into bathroom-
"Crippen, how long were you holding that in"
"Since I just put my G suit on!"

 

[MajorTom]

I remembered two:

(for pessimists)

There is no such thing as gravity--the Earth sucks.
​

(Apologies to Siberian Tiger)

AEROFLOT = Aircraft: Early Russian. Other Flights Lost Over Tundra
​

 

[Belisarius]

NASA - Not All Spacecraft Arrive