I've finally got around to reading this thread and wanted to just chuck in my 2c.
To echo David, if there was one thing people should do to make things a little better, it's: RTFM. The Orbiter core has limitations on how addons can by implemented and installed. So some addons require certain steps to have them work correctly (that's not the developers fault). But, as a developer myself, I can't tell you how frustrating it is to spend time writing a detailed manual explaining those steps, only to have people post a bug report about something that isn't a bug. The well known developers in this community spend a notable amount of their own time not only composing manuals, but maintaining dev threads and bug feedback. I say again RTFM.
That said, I can't knock your idea of a set of standards per se. However,
the way Orbiter is coded, conflicts happen, an unfortunate and unavoidable fact. There is a limit to how far a developer can go to make things universal (plus of course there is only so far they can be bothered to go, which is fair enough.) But I think you will find that if you look at all the 'Recommended Addons', they are as close as dammit to any sort of standard we could impose. And are, in fact, essentially endorsed releases by the community. I would also guarantee that they all come with good documentation. I can honestly say that I was truly flattered for WIN to make it on there, since I know the high quality of the other addons on that list.
And I know it has been said before, but remember this **** is free. I have spent a lot of my time on my addons, and I can't imagine the work put in by Donamy, Doug, Dan or the Davids for example (scary, all D names lol!). But if that means that you have to make a little bit of effort, then just do it. And if it also means that you can't put X Soyez on Y launcher, then live with it. If you want to pay the developers then I'm sure we will follow all guidlines you set willingly, but while it's our free time we're spending for your benefit, we'll make as much effort as we can be arsed to make. I know that sounds defensive, but it's not, it's just blunt. This community is awesome, one of the best I am part of on the netz, but it sounds to me like to you just need to accept that you have to make a little effort and accept a few limitations.
Having said that, I admire your essays in this thread lol, that was some time thoughtfully spent, kudos. But I think you should aim that creativity toward the beta Dev instead, as that is where the new opportunity lies to have a more "friendly" and flexible format to avoid the small conflicts that bug you so.
/sort of rant I spose