Pyromaniac605
Toast! :D
Tell me about it. Ever played Journey to Silius? I've never gotten past the second level. :lol:
Humor Random Comments Thread
- Thread starter Tex
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Nice Google easter-egg introduced today: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=do+a+barrel+roll
orb
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For all that don't get the expected effect, don't panic:
Doesn't work in Opera either.
Linguofreak
Well-known member
If it were listed, you'd run into a paradox, because you'd have a non-zero chance of picking it, making it an incorrect answer, which would then mean you'd have a 0% chance of picking the correct answer, which would make 0% the correct answer, which would mean that you'd have a non-zero chance of picking it, which would mean...
PeriapsisPrograde
Wannabe addon dev
Pyromaniac605
Toast! :D
Man is my desk cramped, It has a stereo, Kinect and various souvenirs etc. on the top, my 1600x900 (Pretty small, I know 
) monitor on top of two phone books, with my stereo's speakers on either side, the left speaker has my C64 Cassette drive on it and the right has my iPhone charger/Alarm Clock. On the main surface there's my keyboard, my C64 with a TV sitting on top as a monitor, my mouse, an iOS device Bluetooth keyboard and a terrible HP printer. Underneath that I have my Xbox360 hiding along with a couple of PC game boxes and on the very bottom is a box that used to hold all my 2600 games, all the power supplies and cords for everything, a couple of Atari joysticks and my computer itself. And things don't get much better on my bookshelf or table. :lol:
) monitor on top of two phone books, with my stereo's speakers on either side, the left speaker has my C64 Cassette drive on it and the right has my iPhone charger/Alarm Clock. On the main surface there's my keyboard, my C64 with a TV sitting on top as a monitor, my mouse, an iOS device Bluetooth keyboard and a terrible HP printer. Underneath that I have my Xbox360 hiding along with a couple of PC game boxes and on the very bottom is a box that used to hold all my 2600 games, all the power supplies and cords for everything, a couple of Atari joysticks and my computer itself. And things don't get much better on my bookshelf or table. :lol:
are you doing?!"
mojoey
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This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. The HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for: "Termination without Cause." (I think he has a good case):
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV." "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so." "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." ".......Yes, it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "....... Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "I can't reach it." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure." "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "Went away?" "They disappeared." "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing." "Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?" "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?" "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." "Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?" "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV." "Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know." "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" "Yes, I think so." "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." ".......Yes, it is." "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "No." "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." "....... Okay, here it is." "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "I can't reach it." "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" "No." "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." "Dark?" "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." "Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't." "No? Why not?" "Because there's a power failure." "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." "Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is." "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?" "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
Scav
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From a help desk voicemail:
"Uhh, my problem is: I've got my pointer in the middle of the screen, and I want to move it to the right, but my mouse is on the right-hand side of the pad. And if I move it any further to the right, it's gonna go off the pad. Anyway, if you could give me a call back, I'd appreciate it. I'll wait for your call."
"Uhh, my problem is: I've got my pointer in the middle of the screen, and I want to move it to the right, but my mouse is on the right-hand side of the pad. And if I move it any further to the right, it's gonna go off the pad. Anyway, if you could give me a call back, I'd appreciate it. I'll wait for your call."
mojoey
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10 Simple Rules to Date My Daughter
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka --zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule
Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car --there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them. Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early." Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka --zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better. Rule
Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car --there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
Last edited:
Linguofreak
Well-known member
You know, these would be a lot more fun to read if they weren't just huge blocks of text. For numbered lists like this, try putting a line break or two between each number, like so:
Otherwise it's a lot harder to read and people will just give up.
Otherwise it's a lot harder to read and people will just give up.
I was disappointed Monday evening to find out that if you pre-order a game from a GameStop store, you have to pick it up at THAT store.
Makes taking my PS3 on vacation with me pretty much pointless since I don't have Uncharted 3 to play in my spare time.
Makes taking my PS3 on vacation with me pretty much pointless since I don't have Uncharted 3 to play in my spare time.
Pyromaniac605
Toast! :D
I don't see how it could work otherwise. :dry:
PhantomCruiser
Wanderer
Regarding rules for dating my daughter...
I've got a copy of a form "Application for Permission to Date My Daughter" around here some where. My daughter being, well, my daughter, made a copy and had her boyfriend fill it out for my approval. Funny stuff.
I've got a copy of a form "Application for Permission to Date My Daughter" around here some where. My daughter being, well, my daughter, made a copy and had her boyfriend fill it out for my approval. Funny stuff.
jangofett287
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Also try Tilt or Askew, recursion and anagram
Pyromaniac605
Toast! :D
Wow... I-I'm speechless... the only thing I can think to say is ":facepalm:".
Edit: I'd like to see them make the same argument about a natural banana. :lol:
Izack
Non sequitur
I have that booklet. It's called the "Atheist Test." Got it from a crazy in a church, kept it around for laughs. :lol:
Pyromaniac605
Toast! :D
I know, right? GM food FTW. :lol:
---------- Post added at 03:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:04 PM ----------
What else is in it? Could you possibly get some pictures/scans?
jangofett287
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I now know why people drink. I also know that I can't stop grinning! :lol:
