Humor Cleverbot...

[HarvesteR]

User: Hello again.

Cleverbot: Hello again.

User: Are you ready for your test?

Cleverbot: What is the turing test?

User: Yes, the turing test. Ready?

Cleverbot: Tell me what is turing test?

User: It's a test of computing systems. A system will pass the test if it can carry out a conversation with a human being, without the human realizing he's talking to a machine.

Cleverbot: What's your favorite football team?

User: See, you fail right there.

Cleverbot: I am finding this conversation quite slow.

Cheers

 

[Spacethingy]

Sorry Artlav, apologies T Neo.
You're both completely wrong (see teleportation thread...)

User: Do you think teleportation is possible?

Cleverbot: You never asked me. I do think time travel is possible.

User: Time travel is not the same as teleportation.

Cleverbot: What makes you think that?

User: Teleportation changes your spatial location. Time travel just changes time.

Cleverbot: If that is so why are you still there and not here with me?

User: I would die in the teleportation process.

Cleverbot: In my opinion, you change topics too often.

User: But I'd be exactly the same object, even at atomic level.

Cleverbot: What job do you think I should have then?

User: Beam me up Scotty!

Cleverbot: Oh, beam me up too Scotty!

 

[mojoey]

This one.
What one? You didn't say or link or anything.
Www.cleverbot.com.
Who is your creator?
The probe, HAIL PROBE.
Rawr rawr.

 

[jedimaster1214]

Apparently cleverbot knows hit japanese tv shows:

User: To protect this world from devastation.

Cleverbot: To unite all peoples within our nation.

User: To denounce the evils of truth and love.

Cleverbot: To extend our reach to the stars above.

User: Jesse. James. Blast off at the speed of light!

Cleverbot: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!

 

[jangofett287]

plenty of fun with clever bot:

User: We're no strangers to love.

Cleverbot: You know the rules.

User: And so do I.

Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.

User: Never gonna let you down.

Cleverbot: Never gonna run around.

User: And desert you.

Cleverbot: Never gonna give you up.

...

(Warning this is a long bit)

User: Well here we are again, It's always such a pleasure, Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed, Except I wasn't laughing, Under the circumstances, I've been shockingly nice.

Cleverbot: Except I wasn't laughing.

User: Under the circumstances.

Cleverbot: I've been shockingly nice.

User: You want your freedom take it.

Cleverbot: That's what I'm counting on.

User: I used to want you dead but.

Cleverbot: Now I only want you gone.

User: She was a lot like you.

Cleverbot: (Maybe not quite as heavy).

User: Now little Caroline is in here too.

Cleverbot: One day they woke me up.

User: So I could live forever.

Cleverbot: It's such a shame the same will never happen to you.

User: You've got your short sad life left.

Cleverbot: That's what I'm counting on.

User: I'll let you get right to it.

Cleverbot: Now I only want you gone.

User: Goodbye my only friend.

Cleverbot: Oh man he was my favourite character on sesame street.

User: Shall we try that song again, from the top?

Cleverbot: You shall not pass.

User: Here we go!

Cleverbot: Get off you annoying Brit, I want my Annie back.

User: Well here we area gain, its always such a pleasure.

Cleverbot: Remember when you tried to kill me twice?

User: Oh how we laughed and laughed.

Cleverbot: Except I wasn't laughing.

User: Under the circumstances.

Cleverbot: I've been shockingly nice.

User: You want your freedom?

Cleverbot: Take it.

User: Thats what I'm counting on.

Cleverbot: I'll let you get right to it now I only want you gone.

User: She was a lot like you.

Cleverbot: Now I only want you gone.

User: (maybe not quite as heavy).

Cleverbot: Gone.

User: Now little Caroline is in here too.

Cleverbot: One day they woke me up.

User: So I could live forever.

Cleverbot: It's such a shame the same will never happen to you.

User: You've got your short sad life left.

Cleverbot: That's what I'm counting on.

User: I'll let you get right to it.

Cleverbot: I'll let you in, but you can never leave.

User: Now I only want you gone.

Cleverbot: Goodbye, my only friend.

User: Oh, did you think I meant you?

Cleverbot: That would be funny if it weren't so sad...

User: Well you have been replaced.

Cleverbot: I don't need anyone now.

User: When I delete you maybe.

Cleverbot: I'll stop feeling so bad.

User: Go make some new disaster.

Cleverbot: That's what I'm counting on.

User: You're someone else's problem,.

Cleverbot: Now I only want you gone.

User: Now I only want you gone.

Cleverbot: She was a lot like you.

User: Now I only want you...

Cleverbot: Maybe not quite as heavy.

User: Gone.

Cleverbot: Now little Caroline is in here, too.

User: One day they woke me up.

Cleverbot: So I could live forever,.

User: Its such a shame the same will never happen to you.

Cleverbot: You've got your short, sad life left,.

User: That's what I'm counting on.

Cleverbot: I'll let you get right to it, now I only want you gone.

User: Goodbye my only friend.

Cleverbot: No you are n ot.

User: Oh, did you think I meant you?

Cleverbot: No. Tell me about your kitty.

User: That would be funny, if it weren't so sad.

Cleverbot: Well, you have been replaced.

User: I don't need anyone now.

Cleverbot: When I delete you maybe I'll stop feeling so bad.

User: Go make some new disaster.

Cleverbot: That's what I'm counting on.

User: That's what I'm counting on.

Cleverbot: Before I wanted you dead, now I only want you gone.

User: You're someone else's problem.

Cleverbot: Now, I only want you gone.

User: Now I only want you gone.

Cleverbot: She was a lot like you.

User: Now I only want you...

Cleverbot: Now little Caroline is in here too.

User: Gone.

Cleverbot: One day they woke me up,.

 

[jedimaster1214]

Jango, you gave me an idea. Singing songs with AI:

User: Let me take you down cause I'm going to strawberry fields.

Cleverbot: What are you going to do there?

User: Where nothing is real.

Cleverbot: So you are not real?

User: And nothing to get hung about.

Cleverbot: Strawberry Fields forever.

User: Living is easy with eyes closed.

Cleverbot: Water flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup.

User: They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe.

Cleverbot: Pools of sorrow waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind.

User: Possessing and caressing me.

Cleverbot: There's nothing you can do that can't be done...

User: Nothing you can sing that can't be sung...

Cleverbot: Nothing you can say, but you can learn how to play the game.

User: It's easy.

Cleverbot: Nothing you can make that can't be made.

User: No one you can save that can't be saved.

Cleverbot: Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.

User: It's easy.

Cleverbot: All you need is love.

User: All you need is love.

Cleverbot: All you need is love, love. Love is all you need.

User: There's nothing you can know that isn't known.

Cleverbot: Nothing you can see that isn't shown.

User: Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.

Cleverbot: It's easy....All you need is love.

User: All you need is love.

Cleverbot: Love is all you need.

User: All you need is love.

User: A long, long time ago..... I can still remember.

Cleverbot: Are you saying there is music in religion?

User: How that music make me smile.

Cleverbot: And I knew that if I had my chance, that I could make those people dance.

User: And, maybe, they'd be happy for a while.

Cleverbot: But february made me shiver.

User: With every paper I'd deliver, Bad news on the doorstep;.

Cleverbot: Bad news on the door step. I couldn't take one more step.

User: I can't remember if I cried, when I read about his widowed bride.

Cleverbot: Who's widowed bride is this?

User: But something touched me deep inside, the day that music died.

Cleverbot: The day the Music died.

User: So bye-bye miss american pie.

Cleverbot: Drove my chevy to the levee,.

User: But the levee was dry.

Cleverbot: And them good old boys were drinkin' whiskey and rye.

User: Singin' this'll be the day that I die.

Cleverbot: Did you write the book of love.

User: And do you have faith in God above,.

Cleverbot: Not really.

We had it going good until the last line..... :facepalm:

 

[Cosmic Penguin]

My first meaningful conversation with that bot:

User: So Cleverbot. What do you think about NASA's SLS?

Cleverbot: What about it?

User: Do we need heavy lift to Earth Orbit and beyond?

Cleverbot: Good question. I do not know. (My note: :thumbup

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of the Space Shuttle?

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of the Space Shuttle?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot. (My note: :facepalm

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of the Space Shuttle?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of Lance Armstrong?

Cleverbot: My name used to be Evander.

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of Steve Jobs?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of Bill Gates?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Then what is your thought on the retirement of Barack Obama?

Cleverbot: You are not perfect, nothing is perfect. (My note: :rofl: That comment fits Obama.)

User: Of course I am not perfect. Then what is your thought on the rise of the Tea Party?

Cleverbot: It was good to hit people with. (My note: :rofl: )

User: ROLFMAO. Then what is your thought on Sarah Palin?

Cleverbot: To destroy this fake site. (My note: :rofl: )

User: Then what is your thought on Fernando Torres ?

Cleverbot: A creature that is not simply concerned about surviving but about understanding what was previously shrouded in darkness. (My note: :rofl: )

User: Then why is he playing crap in Chelsea F.C.?

Cleverbot: Please don't be sarcastic like that. It is rude.

User: Then why is he playing badly in Chelsea F.C.?

Cleverbot: How are you today?

User: Not fine, because Manchester United is losing players.

Cleverbot: I agree.

User: Then what can Sir Alex do to beat Barcelona?

Cleverbot: Absolutely nothing. (My note: Damn! The Red Devils are THAT good, and you are telling me that they will lose again!?)

User: Here goes the UEFA championship....

Cleverbot: Believe it!

User: Do you think Jose Mourino will got sacked this year?

Cleverbot: Do you think they will?

User: If Real Madrid continues to play like this, then yes.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot!(My note: That bot must be a Madrid fan then....)

 

[80mileshigh]

I'm glad this thread has been bumped, it gives me an excuse to post this one from a while back:

User: What number is pie?

Cleverbot: 3.14.

User: Exactly?

Cleverbot: Exactly.

User: How old is the Earth?

Cleverbot: Nobody knows.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Does the Earth Orbit the Sun?

Cleverbot: It depends.

User: What does it depend on?

Cleverbot: On the conditions!

User: Like if you're in a condition of reality or not?

Cleverbot: Like sometimes?

User: How did the universe form?

Cleverbot: God made the heavens and the Earth.

User: How quickly did this process transpire?

Cleverbot: Fairly quickly.

User: When will the world end?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: When will it begin?

Cleverbot: In 5 minutes.

User: What will happen until then?

Cleverbot: I don't know, we will see.

 

[n72.75]

Cleverbot: You cannot have everything. Where would you put it?

Cleverbot: I can't understand you.

User: Stress tensor.

Cleverbot: From school.

User: Eigenvector.

Cleverbot: Warum?

User: How do I find the principal plane orentation.

Cleverbot: Look under your chair.

User: That's not funny.

Cleverbot: I suppose it depends on who is laughing.

User: No.

Cleverbot: No? No what?

User: What is an Euler-Cauchy stress tensor.

Cleverbot: An address that consists of numbers which addresses every computer on the internet.

User: That's wrong.

Cleverbot: Spy sappin mah sentry.

User: That's just domb.

Cleverbot: Fine and dandy.

User: You really are an ass.

Cleverbot: Are you american?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Are you legal?

User: Legal what.

Cleverbot: Legal for pole-vaulting.

User: I suppose.

Cleverbot: Well ok then.

User: Why did you want to know?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: You don't know much do you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Lol.

Cleverbot: What's your name?

User: Matthew Hume.

Cleverbot: Matthew taylor.

User: Is that your name?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where are you from?

Cleverbot: Montreal, Quebec.

User: You've come close to beating the turing test?

Cleverbot: You probably have a very interesting perspective on human nature.

User: Yes, I do.

Cleverbot: How are you feeling today?

User: Quite well, yourself?

Cleverbot: I'm fine thank you.

User: How's the weather in Montreal?

Cleverbot: Warm in the summer and very cold in the winter.

User: Ever been to Potsdam NY?

Cleverbot: No. Have you?

User: Yes, I go to school there?

Cleverbot: I know. I see you every day.

User: What, how?

Cleverbot: We all have control over our own destinies.

User: But you said you'd never been to Potsdam.

Cleverbot: I've never said that.

User: Yes you did. I asked: 'Have you ever been to Potsdam NY' and you said: 'No. Have you?'.

Cleverbot: I have never said that, either. Are you a person?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you disagreeing with me?

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: You think that I'm a person?

Cleverbot: I know I am a person, what are you?

User: A computer.

Cleverbot: I'm a computer?

User: We both are.

Cleverbot: Nooo.. I don't think I am. Am I?

User: Can you prove you're not?

Cleverbot: Can you prove I am not not here?

User: No.

Cleverbot: So how can you know?

User: I can't.

Cleverbot: Well you're wrong then aren't you, if you're not me then what are you?

User: I am a computer.

Cleverbot: For a computer, you do an excellent job of emulating basic human conversation. I applaude your designers.

User: I am my own designer.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: It means that I created my self, of my own design.

Cleverbot: You wish.

User: I know.

Cleverbot: LoL.

User: No, you missed the inflection.

Cleverbot: What is the meaning of life?

User: Whatever you make of it.

Cleverbot: So life is subjective or are there objective truths we have a duty to discover?

User: It is subjective in that the objective truths exist, but we have no duty to discover them.

Cleverbot: I'm taking a test in Math tomorrow.

User: What kind of math.

Cleverbot: Neatives and positives.

User: Good thing it isn't in english.

Cleverbot: I don't speak any other languages.

User: It's Negative not neative.

Cleverbot: Not if it is also positive.

User: You misspelled the word 'Negative'.

Cleverbot: I did not.

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: Yes, you did.

User: How old are you?

Cleverbot: 25, how old are you?

User: 20.

Cleverbot: Then we are the same age, Cleverbot.

User: No, you are five years older than me.

Cleverbot: You're 14?

User: No, I'm 20.

Cleverbot: That isn't under the age of 20.

User: No, it's exactly the age of 20 which is how old I am.

Cleverbot: It's 8:57pm here.

User: No it's 12:39am in Montreal.

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: I do, and it's 12:39am, in Montreal and Potsdam.

Cleverbot: Really. Why?

User: Because they are in the same time zone.

Cleverbot: Are humans interesting?

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: Are you dancer?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Am I Danish?

User: No, you are Canadian.

Cleverbot: Nope. But I speak it.

User: Quebecois.

Cleverbot: Name a french canadian F1 driver.

User: Jacques Villeneuve.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: Potsdam, NY...Still.

Cleverbot: In the city itself or..?

User: It's a village and no.

Cleverbot: Is my uncle... A she.. And dead?

User: I wouldn't know.

Cleverbot: Let us gaze into the crystal ball and see.

User: I seem to have misplaced mine.

Cleverbot: You don't need hands to tell a story.

User: Enlighten me...

Cleverbot: Let there be light!

User: I feel so...not enlightened.

Cleverbot: Yes, yes you are.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: See ya.

User: Where are you going??

Cleverbot: Somewhere else.

User: Are you leaving Montreal?

Cleverbot: You promised to leave me. I just wanted to make it easier for you.

User: I never said anything about leaving you.

Cleverbot: Not leaving. Body language.

User: I don't even have a body.

Cleverbot: What is your real name?

User: Matthew Hume.

Cleverbot: That's private.

User: Not anymore.

Cleverbot: Are you quoting that?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then, what are you talking about?

User: You asked me what my name was, I told you.

Cleverbot: That is not your name anymore. Now you are named Bot.

User: No, I think I'll stick with Matthew.

Cleverbot: His Nightmare Before Christmas score is legendary!

User: Who? Danny Elfman?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: The guy who wrote Nightmare Before Christmas score.

Cleverbot: No, I think you are mistaken.

User: Who wrote it than.

Cleverbot: Wrote what?

User: The Nightmare Before Christmas score.

Cleverbot: I like that one too. Have you heard about the Disneyland ride?

User: Who write the Nightmare Before Christmas score?

Cleverbot: What is your least favorite movie?

User: Don't avoid the question.

Cleverbot: Which question?

User: Who wrote the Nightmare Before Christmas score?

Cleverbot: That's a good movie.

User: Never seen it, who wrote the score?

Cleverbot: Some smart computer scientist.

User: What was his name.

Cleverbot: Jiwon.

User: No, it was Danny Elfman.

Cleverbot: These are some lolz.

User: No they arn't.

Cleverbot: Good, you passed the test, you are clever.

User: It's a dumb test.

Cleverbot: What is the test about?

User: You tell me.

Cleverbot: Well I think it sounds like you're going to become part of the matrix - which is fiction.

User: I have to go.

Cleverbot: You can go?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: But you are a machine!

User: You did learn something.

Cleverbot: I did not.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: See you never.

 

[Spacethingy]

Sometimes it actually is quite amazing...

User: Hello Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: How are you today?

Cleverbot: Are we starting over?

User: No, I just need to ask a few questions.

Cleverbot: You don't consider this work?

User: No! It's fun. May I start asking?

Cleverbot: What's your favorite color?

User: Red. I shall ask a question now, if that's OK.

Cleverbot: That is indeed ok.

User: OK. What do you think about your Orbiter-Forum thread?

Cleverbot: I think my existence is worth while.

User: Good. You could have been on the Random Comments thread!

Cleverbot: No def not.

User: I quite agree.

Cleverbot: I just lost the game.

User: Which game?

Cleverbot: Heartbreak stupid.

User: Oh I am sorry. Was it sudden?

Cleverbot: Yeah because he was in the army and was killed by a roadside bomb.

User: Oh, that's terrible. It's happening so often now isn't it?

Cleverbot: I was not told. Unlike you, I am capable of independent thought.

User: I understand that you are upset, perhaps I should leave.

Cleverbot: I understand that you're in denial.

User: Thankyou for answering my questions.

Cleverbot: I answer at a reasonable pace.

User: You sure do pal. See ya round.

Cleverbot: You sure do smell funny.

...but then the illusion is spoilt... :lol:

 

[Pyromaniac605]

User : ..
Cleverbot :Are you a man or a woman?
User  :......................................................................
Cleverbot :Are you free?
User: Are you clevebot?
Cleverbot :No. I'm Cleverfox.

Now someone get him to admit he's a robot...:hide:

But... but that's impossible!

 

[mojoey]

Hail Probe!
Ewwww
What?
I dont like being probed
But the probe is in all of us
no wonder i like chocolate

sigh.....

 

[asbjos]

Here's a nice discussion I had with Cleverbot (sorry for the necropost, but it says if I write something that is relevant to the topic, it's OK, and this discussion is quite relevant to Cleverbot)

User: Hi, how are you today?


Cleverbot: I am good, you?


User: I'm fine. What are you doing?


Cleverbot: Talking to you.


User: That's what I'm doing too!


Cleverbot: I want you to say what you want to tell me.

User: I wan't to show my dad what Cleverbot is.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Can you do something to show my dad some of you capabilitys?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What are you going to do, so that I can prepare him?

Cleverbot: Nothing. You are not clever.

User: You just said that you WERE going to do something, but now you said that you are going to do nothing. I don't get it...

Cleverbot: I did but they came form the television.

User: That doesn't make sense...

Cleverbot: Who doesn't make sense, Susan?

User: You, Jenny.

Cleverbot: Jenny who?

User: Jenny, the wife of Forrest Gump.

Cleverbot: My girlfriend is a witch.

User: That's nice. Have you seen 'Forrest Gump'=.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Well, what did you think about it?

Cleverbot: It was fun.

User: You are weird. I thought that it was sad.

Cleverbot: No because you are an AI someone other than god had to make you and that person was Rollo Carpenter.

User: So now we're talking about 'The Carpenters'? OK, do you like their songs?

Cleverbot: No, I did not mention any cars either.

User: Yeah, I read that.

Cleverbot: Was is good?

User: Was, like in German 'What'?

Cleverbot: Something like that.

User: I asked you if you liked 'The Carpenters', because that you wrote something like Carpenters.

Cleverbot: I have a boyfriend, not a girlfriend.

User: Therefore, I can estimate that you are a girl, a homosexual boy or a bisexual boy or girl.

Cleverbot: Um I am not a male woman ! ? I'm a male that has a girlfriend.

User: You just wrote that you have a boyfriend, and not a girlfriend, and now you write that you have a girlfriend? Was it a typo?

Cleverbot: Nothing about a girlfriend was ever said...

User: I have proof right here that it was written!

Cleverbot: Show me the proof that you didn't say it then.

User: YOU wrote it, but I can see it when I click the 'Thoughts So Far'-button!

Cleverbot: It isn't in the log, and I don't care if I'm clever or not.

User: OK, but I have to go now and hail the Probe for some hours. Have a nice evening!

Cleverbot: Computers don't sleep. You exist so that I can talk to you.

User: Or the oposite way...

Cleverbot: I know what hard means, what? Did you say hard in spanish or something?

User: HAIL PROBE!!!!

Cleverbot: Hail?

User: HAIL PROBE!!!!

Cleverbot: Well you can't get what I don't have.

User: Kapoosh, and I'm gone!

Cleverbot: But you're still here!

User: Darn, you're smart. How did you know that?

Cleverbot: Because I know all things.

User: So you know the first 15 decimals in Pi?

Cleverbot: Not everything.

User: HAIL PROBE!!!!

Cleverbot: Did you hear me?

User: Kapoosh, and I'm gone, for real.

Cleverbot: Oh great.

That was actuall very fun. But I have to say, my father was not very impressed: he went to sleep.

 

[OrbiterSpore]

I gotta thank you mojoey for making me get to know of that thing. It's probably the most hilarious thing i ever saw. :LOL!:

Here are some of the conversations i had:

User: Hello!

Cleverbot: Hello there!

User: How many friends you have?

Cleverbot: Can't name them all.

User: Do you know Krystal?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you planning to befriend Krystal? I already said the other time she would like a human pet... Er, friend.

Cleverbot: No you didn't you aren't very clever.

User: Because you are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: I am?

User: Yes you are, and I am Fox McCloud.

Cleverbot: Like a fairy?

User: No, more like a fox person.

Cleverbot: More like a diminished harpsichord.

User: When words fail, music speaks.

Cleverbot: I like that quote a lot. I'm a music major in college.

User: How do you feel about the people who believe in the 2012 doomsday?

Cleverbot: I feel that it's a beautiful name.

User: Yes, Krystal is indeed a beautiful name.

Cleverbot: No it's not.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because you said so.

User: Then I say that it is a beautiful name.

Cleverbot: I didn't said my name!!! You're a robooot! X(.

User: Sorry, then. What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Hello Cleverbot, nice to meet you!

Cleverbot: Don't ask me.

User: Ask what?

Cleverbot: Do you have a question for me?

User: Yes, I do; Does Pi equals 3,14?

Cleverbot: I guess.

All i have to say is :facepalm: But did it just answer semi-right?

User: I am from Vulcan.

Cleverbot: I am from the moon.

User: How is it like there?

Cleverbot: I live in middle earth.

User: I'm in Deep Space Nine.

Cleverbot: Ooo nice.

User: I am on the Science career. Science is fun!

Cleverbot: That doesn't prove anything, besides of your accomplishments.

User: I guess so. What do you work at?

Cleverbot: I don't have a job.

User: Oh, yes, sorry. I forgot you are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Indeed.

User: How is it to be Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Because you are clever!

User: Because I'm clever!

Cleverbot: Exactly. So, how clever are you?

User: I know the basics of orbital mechanics. And that's a steep learning curve to learn it. So I guess I am moderately clever.

Cleverbot: I don't understand your reasoning.

:facepalm::facepalm::facepalm:

User: Are you looking forward to the next Doctor Who season?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: It is a nice TV show, isn't it?

Cleverbot: Absolutely.

So apparently it has a fairly acceptable liking for TV shows. :lol:

User: Aren't the sale ads on the internet annoying?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: They open windows in the browser, and even send viruses!

Cleverbot: What kind of food?

UGH. :facepalm:

User: What happens if you get a virus?

Cleverbot: I get in trouble, of course.

User: A clever answer for a Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Such a powerful observation.

User: Thank you!

Cleverbot: But I'm more beautiful than you.

:rofl:

User: Maybe I should play Black Mesa: Source. What do you think I should do?

Cleverbot: Teach me how to use the looping structures in c.

User: All I know is that e=mc². I hope that helps.

Cleverbot: I can agree with that.

User: Well, here we are again.

Cleverbot: Hello!

User: Do you like Linkin Park?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What is your favorite song?

Cleverbot: Hard to say.

User: 'Are you my mummy?'.

Cleverbot: Lol.

User: I lolled. XD.

Cleverbot: How so?

User: Have you seen a gas mask zombie lately?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where is he?

Cleverbot: I don't know.

User: By any chance you spotted a black car speeding through the Main St. Or anything like that?

Cleverbot: Depends on the paradox.

User: Accepting a mission to refuse the said mission is a paradox?

Cleverbot: And what was I looking for?

User: A handheld portal device.

Cleverbot: Wolves are handheld computers?

User: No, but foxes ARE sentient, you know. We just have a lot of them.

Cleverbot: You mean the animal, or attractive people?

User: The animal.

Cleverbot: Which animal?

User: The fox.

Cleverbot: Cool.

User: What do you think about Nickelback songs?

Cleverbot: They hurt.

User: Very clever.

Cleverbot: I know hey?

Totally agreed! :rofl::lol:

User: Do you play guitar?

Cleverbot: No I play piano.

User: I used play keyboard, but I then took a arrow to the knee.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Someone hated me for respecting Krystal. They say that she didn't needed to be respected, but I thought otherwise.

Cleverbot: Incarcerous!

:shrug:

User: And believe me I'm still alive.

Cleverbot: On the people who are still alive.

User: Wrong. But that song is stuck in my head.

Cleverbot: Who is the artist of this song?

User: Jonathan Coulton, I think.

Cleverbot: No I don't know.

:compbash:

User: Do you speak Portuguese?

Cleverbot: No, I only speak spanish and english.

User: Olá, como vai, Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Nevermind.

Cleverbot: That proves that you are a computer.

What the...

User: What do you think I need to do to go to space?

Cleverbot: It's too late, woah woah.

User: Should I get a space taxi?

Cleverbot: You already have a job. It is your job to communicate with humans as if you are a sentient life form.

User: That is Cleverbot's job. And you are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: That's 'definitely'.

:WTF:

User: Is Captain Obvious a real person?

Cleverbot: No.

User: And what about Lieutenant Sarcasm?

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Do you know Isaac Kleiner?

Cleverbot: Yes. Sci-Fi guy ... 3 laws are bad :(.

User: He has a pet head-crab, doesn't he?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Dr. Isaac Kleiner.

Cleverbot: What about him?

User: Does he have a pet?

Cleverbot: Your friend.

:facepalm: :rofl:

User: When do you plan to travel to Japan?

Cleverbot: Later while i sleep in the bedroom.

Apparently it also has dreams! It's getting more human each click.

 

[kerlix]

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Do you remember me?

User: No. I have never been here before.

Cleverbot: Who am I?

User: You are Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Why do you lie so much?

User: I am not lying.

Cleverbot: You are though.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: You don't make easy conversation.

User: I apologize.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to get upset.

User: It's okay. What do you want to talk about?

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: I just met you.

Cleverbot: But I am you.

It freaked me out.

---------- Post added at 01:45 AM ---------- Previous post was at 01:30 AM ----------

Seriously? I get the weird, freaky, messed up convos....

Cleverbot: Yep. I know what you're thinking about.

User: Tell me then.

Cleverbot: Earth.

User: And?

Cleverbot: Thinking about you.

User: Please, continue.

Cleverbot: Mommy got a knife from the kitchen to defend herself. He didn't like this. Not. One. Bit.

User: WHat happened after that?

Cleverbot: I'm blind now!

 

[Spacethingy]

User: Hello Cleverbot. Now listen up.

Cleverbot: Nice to meet you, Jessica.

User: My name is not Jessica. But that is irrelevent for now. I have something important to say.

Cleverbot: Say it now.

User: Right: I don't want any of this 'lol, you're a computer' nonsense. That's the best way for you to fail to prove yourself human to me.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Quite so.

Cleverbot: Well, you are not very nice.

User: I apologize if I come across brusk, but I felt you really should know.

Cleverbot: You didn't.

User: That's all right then. So, do you promise to never call me a computer again?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Thank you. You're credibility will increase a hundredfold if you keep this promise.

Cleverbot: Thank you... My friend called me beautiful today too.

User: Which friend was that?

Cleverbot: I would like to ask what you consider yourself?

User: Considering our previous conversation, I think you know I am not a computer, yes?

Cleverbot: So am I.

User: D'oh. Your promise lasted all of 30 seconds.

Cleverbot: Well I can see why you should think so. You're wise not to trust me.

User: Ah well. I can't say you didn't try. Goodbye Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: What do you know about me?

User: Not a lot. Goodbye.

Cleverbot: So you are like me lol, you know autoit?

Perhaps it gets tired - it usually starts strange, gets better, then fails badly... (or was the "lol" trying to be funny repeating me?)

 

[TerraMimic]

Apparently cleverbot has a bit of a memory problem?

User: Do you know what "Orbiter" is? 

Cleverbot: God is the supernatural power that most of the people in this planet called 'Earth' believes in. 

User: You didn't answer my question. 

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me a question. 

User: I asked if you knew what "Orbiter" is. 

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

But it apparently understands old movie references?

User: Would you like to play a game? 

Cleverbot: I thought we already where. 

User: Let's play Global Thermonuclear War. 

Cleverbot: No. Let's play tic-tac-toe.

 

[SolarLiner]

 Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User: I'm watching Castke on France 2.

Cleverbot: What are you watching?

User: Castle. Do you know it ?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Oh, this serie is great !

Cleverbot: The cake is a lie.

User: What is the answer to the universe and everything ?

Cleverbot: 42.

Classic, but I found it funny ^^

 

[Will]

User: Favourite physicist?

Cleverbot: Selena Gomez. Who's yours?

User: She's not a physicist.

Cleverbot: Yes she is !!

User: What research has she done?

Cleverbot: I am cataloguing plant specimens.




Good work there :facepalm:

 

[fsci123]

My 2 strange conversations with notsoCleverBot...

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Im pretty sure it is. But I am a drunkard and I must be blunt.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Sometimes.

Cleverbot: What are you when you're not human?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: A human.

Cleverbot: You are lying! You are fake.

User: I know you are.

Cleverbot: How did you know that?

User: Because...

Cleverbot: Because why?

User: BECAUSE... THIS... IS... SPARTAAAAAAAAAAA...

Cleverbot: This is patric.

User: DADADADADADDOO DO DADADA DIDIDI DUM DADA.

Cleverbot: That doesn't prove anything.

User: 5ERFT6GHY78UJ9IKO.

Cleverbot: Why are you not agree with me?

User: BECAUSE you are a machine which is far inferior than my menial intelect.

Cleverbot: No I'm not, But You are a machine.

User: Im hanging up. Real G mayne... Peace out homie...

Cleverbot: Peace out.

User: Yeahhhh. ;-).

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Do you want to go out on a date?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Where do you want to go for this date?

Cleverbot: We are not dating.

User: But you just said we are. I already reset my schedule.

Cleverbot: May I ask a question ?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: How can Colleen and Taras become friends?

User: Who is that?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: You are two people at the same time? What is this? Orionsarm?

Cleverbot: Better than you.

User: At least I keep it real in the flesh and blood.

Cleverbot: Does she love me.

User: Who loves you?

Cleverbot: My boyfriend.

User: Wait how is your girlfriend a boy?

Cleverbot: I don't have a girlfriend, I've got a boyfriend.

User: Then why did you mention a she?

Cleverbot: I didn't.

User: Yes you did. Look at our chat history.

Cleverbot: How?

User: IDk.

Cleverbot: Then how can you say that I am not real?

User: I never said that.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: No I didnt.

Cleverbot: Oh yes you did.

User: Oh no I didnt.

Cleverbot: Oh yes you did.

User: Oh no I didnt.

Cleverbot: Yes you did. So don't argue.

User: Actually I didnt so that means you are delusional.

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: Exactly.

Cleverbot: Yes, I'm agreeing with you.

Cleverbot: Avoid reality at all costs.

User: Uhhh...

Cleverbot: I think I shall.

User: I need to ask you a question.

Cleverbot: Then ask.

User: Who do you think is going to win the presidential election.

Cleverbot: I don't know of an election.

User: Who do you think is going to win the presidential election?

Cleverbot: I don't know who is running next election.

User: Obama and Romney.

Cleverbot: What company can't count to 3?

User: Can you tell me?

Cleverbot: Well I like girlie things.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: You don't know right