Question What did I do wrong?

[kevin1gamer]

I was talking to a friend of mine on Facebook, when my computer started going extremely slow, and so I told her brb, and I came back a minute later, but she was gone. She has a crush on me (and I kind of like her back, but I'm also kinda recovering from a previous relationship with someone else, and I'm waiting for the right time to tell her that I like her back and/or ask her out) and has flirted with me a few times before. I don't know why she left and said "yeah..". I think she may have misinterpreted me leaving temporarily as me not wanting to talk to her (as well as me taking two minutes to reply when she said "hi", but that was because I was playing Modern Warfare 2 and didn't look at my computer monitor until that time; she also sent that three line message almost a second after I said "hi" back, implying that she didn't think I would reply). She hasn't gotten on since she logged out while I was restarting Mozilla Firefox, I did however post a message on her wall saying "back". I restarted Firefox so I could listen and help her (it was like so slow for some reason, it took like 30 seconds just to recognize a click, and the cursor was jumping around all crazy-like). Here is how the conversation went, what do you make of it?


Her (2:04pm)
"hi"

Me (2:06pm)
"hi"

Her (2:06pm)
"fine nevermind i dont wanna talk to you
okay my bad
whats up??"

Me (2:07pm)
"?
oh nm
What was that about?"

Her (2:07pm)
"nevermind
nothing
im freaken up set"

Her (2:08pm)
"cuz of my freaken best friend"

Me (2:09pm)
"What did she do?"

Her (2:10pm)
"i told her that she was going to get hurt and she did"

Me (2:10pm)
"What happened to her?"

Her (2:11pm)
"he broke up with her.."

Me (2:11pm)
"o
heyt im gonna brb my computer is extremely slow"

Her (2:11pm)
"yeah.."

System Message (2:12pm)
"*her name* is offline."

 

[Urwumpe]

This is still a spaceflight forum, maybe she went ballistic. Or she had the typical female problem of trying to put more symbols into the communication as the half of the frequency, violating Shannons Theorem.

 

[Lucy]

Clearly, your radio blackout happened at an inopportune time, and you missed a critical phase in the checklist.

 

[Hielor]

Bad sign, stay away from her. You don't want a relationship with someone this clingy/needy.

 

[insanity]

You're never going to get to MECO because your AoA is all wrong.

 

[garyw]

What did you do wrong? You used facebook as a method of communication instead of the phone. Modern tech is wonderful but sometimes a phone call is better than an unreliable messaging system.

 

[Hielor]

What did you do wrong? You used facebook as a method of communication instead of the phone. Modern tech is wonderful but sometimes a phone call is better than an unreliable messaging system.

I agree here--a possible salvage for this would've been, rather than just "brb, my computer's slow," could've said "hey, my computer is running slow, can I call you instead?" or somesuch.

 

[kevin1gamer]

This is still a spaceflight forum, maybe she went ballistic. Or she had the typical female problem of trying to put more symbols into the communication as the half of the frequency, violating Shannons Theorem.

See, this is a spaceflight forum.

 

[Arrowstar]

What did you do wrong? You used facebook as a method of communication instead of the phone. Modern tech is wonderful but sometimes a phone call is better than an unreliable messaging system.

Agreed. Instant messaging systems are great for casual conversation, but voice communication is not only significantly more personable, but it also facilitates a higher rate of information transfer (you can speak faster than you type ). And there's always that forgotten method of "in person" communication, known back in Ye Olden Days as "talking"...

EDIT: Also, if she's so insecure as to not believe you when you say you have to jump offline for a second, then something is probably wrong.

 

[Andy44]

Bad sign, stay away from her. You don't want a relationship with someone this clingy/needy.

LOL A stage 5 clinger!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_Z4KrmZ1Oc

 

[Unstung]

You're never going to get to MECO because your AoA is all wrong.

:rofl:


Anyways, Gary seems right.

 

[TSPenguin]

Modern tech is wonderful but sometimes a phone call is better than an unreliable messaging system.

When did phones stopped being modern tech?

 

[Andy44]

I believe that telephones, like trains, fall into the "Victorian era relic" category!

 

[orb]

Well, Internet phones are still telephones.

 

[Unstung]

Well, Internet phones are still telephones.

And cellphones, the more modern version.

 

[Gumdrop]

You must be GO for lunar orbit rendezvous before you can be GO for lunar orbit insertion. You catching my drift? :bartender:

Somehow NASA keeps getting this wrong.

 

[jedidia]

What did you do wrong?

a) you brb'ed at the most inopportune moment possible. She expected some attention in this moment, some sympathy in your next post, and instead she got "sorry, got to brb". If she's in her teens, there's no way she couldn't have found that rather cynical. Even older women tend to get mad at such inapropriate reactions, but at least they usually start yelling at you instead of just disapearing (maybe this doesn't sound like much progress, but fact is that things are much easier to work out that way).

b) you posted the whole thing in a public forum. If she finds this thread and realises who you are, chances are she's never going to talk to you again. For some weird reason I never fully grasped either (and I'm married) women do not like it very much if you publicly discuss "problems" you have with them.

 

[T.Neo]

Firstly, you used Facebook as a communication system.

Never use facebook to ask girls out. Always talk to them face-to-face or over the phone. You're likely to find far more mature women this way, too.

Secondly, you asked a bunch of guys on a spaceflight forum. While we'll be able to give advice here or there, I doubt we really have that much expertise in relationship advice.

Or at least, I don't.

 

[garyw]

For some weird reason I never fully grasped either (and I'm married) women do not like it very much if you publicly discuss "problems" you have with them.

Well, let's be honest here - I wouldn't like it if Krys and I had an argument and she posted it on a forum asking for advice. I'd much prefer it if she came to me and we had a talk about what went wrong and what we can do to avoid it in the future. Many arguments come from simple misunderstandings rather than a deliberate attempt to cause harm and if you can talk about it, admit your own failings and work out the best way to avoid it in the future then you have a pretty good relationship.

 

[insanity]

Secondly, you asked a bunch of guys on a spaceflight forum. While we'll be able to give advice here or there, I doubt we really have that much expertise in relationship advice.

Or at least, I don't.

This is why you don't use the internet to help you with your relationship problems. I think a good rule of thumb is that the more obscure the topic, the less help a forum can give you on intrapersonal relationships.

Also, while I've been fairly decent at getting women it took a lot of confidence building in my personal life before it happened. Part of that requires you to stop worrying so much about what you did or do wrong. And never try and get dates with IM or facebook- it oozes fear.